


Unexpected

by someofthissomeofthat11011



Series: 65 Story Challenge [9]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-02 21:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4075045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someofthissomeofthat11011/pseuds/someofthissomeofthat11011
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 1 Episode 9: This takes place after Arthur confronts Uther about having Gaius drug him. He leaves the throne room with a huge smile on his face. He walks right into Merlin who asks him about his good mood. Arthur, already giddy with what his father told him does something that was very unexpected. How will Merlin react? Merthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Leave

"I believed you would die. And that was a risk I could not take. You are too precious to me. You mean more to me than anything I know, more than this entire kingdom, and certainly more than my own life," Uther said to Arthur.

Arthur stared. Uther's words were spoken with a sincerity Arthur rarely heard from him. "I… always thought that…" Arthur said, trying to find the words. He didn't want to say anything that would break this moment.

"What?" Uther asked him. He was trying to remain stoic and emotionless, but it had always been difficult to do that with his son. Somehow Arthur always managed to blur the line between Uther's obligation to his crown and his obligation to his son. When he had lost Ygraine, Uther had been determined never to let another person have that power over his heart. Somehow he had failed at that.

"That… I was a big disappointment to you," Arthur admitted. He refused to look at Uther for fear that he would see some sort of confirmation in his gaze.

Uther's expression softened. "Well that is my fault, and not yours. You are my only son. And I wouldn't wish for another," Uther said seriously. He meant his words. Arthur was so, so precious to him. Uther never knew how to show that, but he had always thought Arthur had realized that. Uther almost felt as if he had failed some sort of test. Every time he looked at Arthur, he saw his wife. It caused him unbearable pain, but the love he felt always overrode that.

"Thank you father," Arthur said quietly.

Arthur stood there, waiting to be dismissed. He looked at the floor. He couldn't look up for fear he would find out that he imagined the whole thing, that his father would turn back into the fierce warrior that cared more for his kingdom than his son.

Uther took a moment to examine his son. It wasn't something he said enough, but he was truly proud of who his son had become. He was only recently crowned prince, but he had grown up preparing for the part. He would make a fine king one day. With a little more training, Arthur may even be a finer king than he. That was the highest compliment Uther was capable of giving. "You're dismissed," Uther said after a moment.

Arthur nodded and left. He was so distracted by Uther's words that he wasn't paying attention and he walked right into something… well someone. Merlin.

Merlin looked up at Arthur surprised. For a brief moment, he worried Arthur had come looking for him. Merlin had completed his chores, so he couldn't imagine what Arthur would need. Arthur's chambers were clean, his clothes had been laundered. Merlin was running errands for Gaius, which Arthur knew Merlin always did this time of day. "Everything all right sire?" Merlin asked, trying to think of something Arthur could possibly ask of him.

"More than alright," Arthur said happily.

"What's put you in such a fine mood?" Merlin asked him surprised. Merlin thought Arthur would still be furious over the whole being drugged thing. He had certainly looked ready to kill when Merlin had seen him after he woke.

"My father," Arthur said, his grin widening as he remembered what his father had said to him. His whole life, he had believed his father resented him for his mother had passed away giving birth to him. It was more than a relief to find out that, while he doesn't show it, his father cares for him.

Merlin's jaw nearly dropped. "Did you say you're father put you in this mood?" Merlin asked uncertainly. Happy wasn't usually an emotion he associated with Arthur after he had spoken to his father. Fury, disbelief, and annoyance were much more realistic emotions to associate with the king. So Merlin couldn't figure out what Uther could have done to make Arthur… well… happy.

"Yes. Oh, I could just kiss you," Arthur said, his smile growing. He didn't know why his father's words had made him so giddy. Perhaps it was because after twenty years of believing Uther hated him, for the first time, his father implied that he loved him.

Merlin stared, worried that Arthur may have been put under some kind of enchantment. Merlin began thinking of counter curses, but he couldn't imagine someone cursed Arthur to make him happy. Arthur, true to his word, pulled Merlin close to him and planted a kiss on his forehead. If possible, Merlin's jaw dropped further. He couldn't help the blush that spread across his cheeks.

Now Merlin knew there had to be something wrong with him. He would have to consult with his spell book and see if there was an enchantment that could cause Arthur to go insane. Arthur wouldn't even hug Merlin, something that had been tried and tested and found to be true, much less kiss his forehead.

"Um… Arthur?" Merlin asked uncertainly. Arthur was still standing very close to him, far too close for comfort. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes of course," Arthur said. His eyes widened slightly as he realized what he just did. He took several steps back and looked at Merlin like he was insane. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Merlin shook his head. He didn't know what was going on with Arthur's strange behavior, but it seemed the Arthur he knew and loved was back. "No reason," Merlin muttered. "I'll… I'll just be going then."

Before Arthur had a chance to say anything else, Merlin scurried away. He was hoping he could convince Gaius to send him on an errand that would require him to spend days away from Arthur collecting herbs. Merlin groaned, knowing that would never happen.

Whenever Merlin complained about Arthur and asked Gaius to help him get out of a few days of work, Gaius just looked at him with a smile that hinted that he knew something Merlin didn't know. Gaius was strangely against Merlin running away from his problems. It was infuriating sometimes.

Merlin went back to Gaius's chambers. When he got there, Gaius handed him the usual tonics and brews that had to be distributed. Merlin took them gratefully and didn't even complain about having to deliver them in the cold. It was more time he could use to assemble his thoughts and figure out what happened.

Perhaps it was because there was something on his mind, but Merlin felt as if his deliveries went quicker than usual. His ears were frozen and he couldn't feel his toes, but he was barely aware of that. He couldn't stop thinking about what Arthur had done earlier that afternoon. It was messing with his head, driving out all other thought.

Sooner than he liked, Merlin was walking back to Arthur's chambers. He had put off doing his nighttime duties long enough that he was sure Arthur would be furious when he got there. But that was good. Furious was better than what he was before. Furious was normal Arthur behavior.

However, when Merlin got to Arthur's chambers, Arthur wasn't furious. He was looking at Merlin curiously. Merlin internally groaned. He really had hoped that Arthur had snapped out of the crazy he had slipped into that afternoon.

Without saying a word to him, Merlin started to do his chores. Being in Arthur's presence made him so nervous. He couldn't figure out why. He had nearly bumped into the table Arthur was sitting at four times. He had dropped just about everything he picked up. He was normally clumsy, but he was taking it to a whole new level that night. He hated that he couldn't concentrate.

It was when Merlin was preparing Arthur's fireplace that it happened. Merlin dropped the poker he had been using to move one of the logs back so he could add another one. The sparks had shot out at Merlin, causing him to cry out when some landed on him. They hadn't burnt him. They had cooled before they touched him, but it was the shock that made him scream.

Arthur was by his side in a second. Merlin braced himself for the insults he knew were coming. He almost welcomed them. But they never came.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked worriedly. Merlin had always been unusually clumsy, but nothing like this. And he had never been this quiet before. Arthur was starting to worry about Merlin's strange behavior. "Are you alright?"

Perhaps it was because Arthur wasn't acting very Arthur, or the fact that nothing was going right, but Merlin found himself snapping at the crowned prince of Camelot.

"No, I'm not," Merlin said angrily. "Because you're not alright. You are not acting like you. It's not okay. You would normally have called me a clumsy oaf and thrown in an insult about how your dogs could do my job better than me. You wouldn't look concerned and you definitely wouldn't have kissed me this afternoon. What is wrong with you?" Merlin didn't realize how harsh his words were until he saw Arthur's face darken. He felt a spurt of guilt rise in him. "Arthur, I'm…"

"Just leave," Arthur said, cutting him off. He turned away so he wasn't facing Merlin.

"But," Merlin said.

"I do not require your services tonight. Just leave," Arthur said. He wasn't shouting, but his voice was cold and angry. In an eerie way, his quiet voice was more frightening than if he had been shouting. Merlin knew he had really offended him.

Merlin sighed. "Yes sire," Merlin whispered. He walked to the door and left. He would give it the night. Give both of them time to cool down, then tomorrow they would talk. Calmly. Arthur would hopefully explain why he had behaved so strangely and Merlin would apologize for yelling at him. Things would go back to normal. Or so he thought.


	2. Gone

Merlin went back to Gaius, his guilt conflicting with his anger. Part of him was still angry about Arthur's strange behavior, but he knew he had reacted irrationally. There was no reason to snap at Arthur, particularly when Arthur wasn't doing anything wrong. Merlin had just yelled at Arthur because Arthur was acting nice, which made Merlin feel even more guilty. Who gets mad because someone is acting nice? Merlin sighed. Maybe he should be examining his own strange behavior as well. Arthur wasn't the only one that was acting oddly that day.

Merlin sat on a bench in Gaius's workshop, staring at a wall. He had been dismissed over an hour early and Merlin didn't know what to do with the spare time. Normally he would have holed himself in his room to practice some spells from his magic book, but he was too preoccupied to even consider that.

It got to the point where Gaius ordered him to go away, whether it was to his room or to somewhere else in the castle. According to Gaius, "his brooding was distracting." As if Merlin were brooding. Merlin went to his room and looked around, unsure what to do. He pulled out the spell book from its hidden place under his bed and stared at it as if it were going to do the magic for him. Merlin sat down on his bed with the heavy book on his lap.

He opened to a random page and knew it was going to be a long night when he read the same line about twenty times and still didn't know what it was saying. Magic was useless if you couldn't concentrate long enough to use it.

It took hours for him to fall asleep that night. Long after he heard Gaius lock the door and walk over to his little bed. Long after Gaius's snores started to fill his chambers. Long after the hooting of the owls and the chirping of the insects had started. Merlin's mind refused to turn off, instead it chose to replay Arthur's strange behavior, over and over and over again.

Merlin didn't even know he had fallen asleep until he woke up, covered in sweat. His nightshirt clung to him uncomfortably and he had that awful sticky feeling you get when you're sweaty.

He took a moment to take deep breaths and figure out what had happened. Something had pulled him from his slumber. Something powerful, something magical, something bad. Merlin had never felt anything like it before, he just knew it was magic. It had gone straight to his core sending chills down his back and allowing a feeling of dread to settle in his stomach.

Merlin couldn't figure out what kind of magic would have woken him. He had never been woken up by something like this before, never felt this kind of magic. Merlin jumped out of bed. He knew he had to ask Gaius about this. He didn't care that it was the middle of the night. This was serious.

Merlin tip-toed over to Gaius's bed. He didn't know why he was being so quiet. He was waking Gaius up anyway.

"Gaius," Merlin whispered when he was at the edge of Gaius's bed. Gaius didn't stir, so Merlin made his voice a little louder. "Gaius?"

Gaius jumped awake, with a terrified look on his face. Merlin could sympathize. He knew it must not be pleasant to be awoken by someone whispering your name. In retrospect, that was a pretty creepy way to wake him up. Gaius probably thought he was a ghost or something frightening.

Gaius was less than pleased when he realized it was Merlin who had pulled him from his sleep. His displeasure disappeared as Merlin explained what he had felt.

"You need to go check on Arthur," Gaius ordered, jumping to his feet. In the darkness, he tripped over a bucket that he had told Merlin to put away earlier that day.

Even though it was pitch black, Merlin could feel Gaius glaring at him. "Arthur?" Merlin asked surprised as he registered Gaius's words. "Why Arthur?"

"Merlin, I know you are not as stupid as you act," Gaius muttered grumpily. He was an old man and wasn't in the best of moods from being woken up in the middle of the night.

"Gaius, what are you talking about?" Merlin asked cluelessly. He was completed lost. He felt like he were missing a very important piece to a puzzle.

Gaius rolled his eyes and found the lantern that hung on the wall. He lit it and shed light on his chambers and workshop. He rubbed sleep from his eyes and pulled a huge book off his bookshelf. "Even as powerful as you are, you can't just sense magic. Either someone close to you was doing the magic, or it was being used on someone you care dearly for," Gaius told him.

Merlin couldn't help the disgusted look that came across his face. "And you think that person is Arthur? No. He's a complete prat," Merlin argued. The idea of him caring for Arthur was ludicrous. Arthur had had him in the stocks more times than Merlin could count. That night being the exception, Arthur was never kind to him. The idea that he could view Arthur as more than the stuck-up prince he was, was impossible.

"And despite that, you care for him. And he cares a great deal for you. You know it. Even you cannot deny the connection you two share. You cannot escape your destiny," Gaius told him sharply.

Merlin hated it when Gaius was right. Somehow he had come to care for the stupid prat. But Merlin wasn't about to tell Gaius that. "I do not!" Merlin insisted stubbornly. He knew his own words weren't true. He took one look at Gaius and groaned. "Fine. I'll go check on him," he grumbled. Merlin walked out into the frozen corridors and began the long trip to the prince's chambers. The moment he stepped out into the cold, it was like reality hit him. And it hit him hard. Merlin started to run.

Gaius watched Merlin leave and shook his head. Sometimes Merlin and Arthur astounded him with their stupidity. Even Uther could see the bond they shared, he just chose to ignore it. He knew Arthur and Merlin were doing the same thing. Gaius couldn't understand why it was so difficult for the two men to admit they were friends. Merlin had saved Arthur's life more times than Gaius could count and no matter what Merlin claimed, it went beyond his destiny. Merlin saved Arthur because he didn't want to see Arthur hurt. Arthur was the same way. Gaius had seen him actually defy Uther's orders to save Merlin. Arthur had never done that before. It was refreshing in a way. But with all the evidence stacked against them, the prince and the manservant still insisted they weren't friends. Gaius let out a frustrated sigh.

Merlin's lungs shouted their protests as they pumped in the cold air. Despite Merlin insistence that he didn't care for the prince, Merlin found himself sprinting to the prince's chambers once the door closed behind him. He couldn't help but fear what Gaius had suggested. If magic was being used against Arthur, it made sense that that would wake Merlin. Their destinies were intertwined. Perhaps it was because it was so cold, but Merlin felt as if it took him longer to get to Arthur's chambers than it ever had before. By the time Merlin reached the door, he felt like his lungs were ready to burst out of his chest.

Merlin kept telling himself that he was going to find Arthur fast asleep in his chambers. But when he got there, he found the bed was empty. The sheets were ruffled and thrown to the side as if Arthur had left his bed in a hurry. The sword that always stayed by his bed was resting on the floor by the table which had been knocked on its side. The chair Arthur always sat in was broken, one of its legs had rolled near the fire place. It was a spooky sight to behold.

Merlin could guess what had happened. Whoever had taken Arthur must have made some kind of noise that woke up Arthur. Arthur would have grabbed his sword and moved around his bed to find the intruder. Arthur would never have been taken without a fight. The kidnapper then would have used magic to capture Arthur. That would have been enough to stir Merlin.

Merlin closed his eyes and took deep breaths. He couldn't believe Arthur was gone. He felt as if he failed in his destiny. He had been too stubborn to admit it, but Arthur was his friend. And Merlin couldn't help but feel like this was somehow his fault. If Merlin hadn't left Arthur's chambers in anger earlier, or if he hadn't snapped at the prince, then maybe Arthur would still be here.

Merlin rushed back to Gaius's chambers. Gaius had to have the answers. He would know what to do. This was out of Merlin's hands. He didn't know who would have captured Arthur, much less how he could find him. But Gaius would know. He always knew.

When Merlin finally got back, Gaius was dozing off over a thick, dusty book. "He's gone Gaius. He's gone," Merlin said frantically. Gaius immediately snapped awake and looked at Merlin confused. Merlin repeated himself. "Arthur is gone. He's been taken."


	3. The Search Is On

Despite the fact that Gaius had been ready to fall back asleep, the second he heard the fear in Merlin's voice when he explained that Arthur was gone, he was wide awake.

"We must inform the king," Gaius told Merlin. He stood up and started shifting through his crowded work bench. He didn't know what he was looking for. He was hoping something would just pop out at him.

"We can't," Merlin said worriedly. "There's no good explanation as to why I would be in Arthur's chambers this time of night. It's not as if I have any duties that would have to be completed this late. And it was someone magical that took him. I've never felt anything like it. The knights of Camelot wouldn't stand a chance, even if they could find him."

Gaius sighed. It was remarkable how just a couple of hours ago, Merlin wouldn't have been able to tell the door from the wall and now that Arthur's life was on the line, he was able to think rationally. But Gaius knew the truth in his words. Uther would see through whatever lie Merlin could fabricate and that would make things significantly more difficult. Plus, Gaius really didn't want to have to worry about breaking Merlin out of prison on top of everything.

When Gaius didn't say anything, Merlin started pacing. "Gaius, what can we do?" Merlin asked frantically. This wasn't like the other times Merlin had to save Arthur's life. Merlin had no idea where Arthur could be. Had no idea what he could be up against. For the first time, Merlin understood the true weight of his destiny. He had thought it would be easy, once he became Arthur's manservant. But he had never anticipated the anxiety that would come if Arthur was in danger. With Sophia, Merlin knew exactly where Arthur would be. This, not knowing, was worse than Merlin could imagine.

"We've got to find him," Gaius said with a shrug.

Merlin stared at him. Gaius made it sound so easy. Find the prince. One problem. Merlin had no idea where he could be. Arthur could be in the valley of the fallen kings. He could be in the darkling woods. He could be in uncharted lands. He could be anywhere. Merlin had no lead to go on. "And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" Merlin asked. "He could be in a million different places!"

Gaius scrunched his brow as he thought. He knew there were spells that could be used, but they were difficult, very difficult. "The only thing I can think of is using a scrying spell," Gaius told him dejectedly.

"A scrying spell?" Merlin asked confused. He vaguely remembered reading about them, but couldn't remember what he had read.

"It's a spell that when cast over some form of liquid creates an image of the person you ask for. I fear it may be beyond your abilities. When I was being taught magic, only the most powerful of sorcerers managed it," Gaius explained sadly.

Merlin was already on his feet, ready to retrieve his magic book. "I don't care how difficult it is, I will manage it. If this is the only way to find Arthur, I will do it," Merlin said with much conviction in his voice. He truly believed his words. Somehow between all the insults and orders Arthur threw at him, he had managed to worm his way into Merlin's heart. Merlin wasn't about to lose his friend.

Gaius nodded at him. For the first time since he came to his chambers all those weeks ago, Gaius saw something in Merlin, something that gave him hope for the warlock.

Merlin came back, carrying his magic book. Gaius looked at him horrified. "If one of the knight's comes in here…" he started to say.

"I don't care," Merlin interrupted. "Arthur may be a spoiled, arrogant prat, but he's going to be a great king one day, with or without my help. He's worth the risk." Merlin's voice dropped to a whisper when he said that last bit. He didn't think that Gaius had heard him, but he had.

Gaius stared at Merlin. He had long since thought there was more between Merlin and Arthur than servant and master. But he had always thought that it was Merlin's destiny, blurring the line between them, forcing them into friendship. Now, Gaius was starting to wonder if it was more. He could hear it in Merlin's voice. There wasn't just fear for a master, or fear for one's destiny. It was fear for a loved one, someone you couldn't bear to lose.

Gaius shook those thoughts from his head. He was sure he was reading into it too much. Perhaps this was just about destiny. Merlin was a good friend. It was natural that he worry about Arthur. Gaius sat down by Merlin's side and helped him look through the book and find the proper scrying spell. They didn't have much time and Merlin was still new to using verbal magic.

Merlin filled one of the basins that Gaius used to crush ingredients in, and put it in front of them. Gaius resisted the urge to cringe at Merlin performing magic out in the open as such. He only hoped that if they had any unexpected visitors, Merlin would have time to hide the magic book.

Merlin had to have read the spell at least one hundred times, muttering different pronunciations under his breath, before he actually practiced it. Gaius had started to doze off again. He had never known Merlin to be so thorough.

"I think I've got it," Merlin said, slamming the book shut loudly. He closed his eyes and concentrated. "Diegol cnytte, gewitte me yst, pa tacnian me yst bonne iecep sicle. Swilte ar ond calan draendan mordor, to Arthur Pendragon he cymp."

Merlin opened his eyes and looked into the basin as if Arthur would magically appear there. Gaius couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped him when that thought passed through his mind. That's exactly what he was hoping for. Merlin glanced up at Gaius surprised and slightly insulted. "What's so funny?" Merlin asked. He knew he hadn't succeeded, but he couldn't understand how Gaius had found amusement in that. If Merlin didn't master this… Merlin shook his head. He would master this spell. He had to.

"Nothing," Gaius said, fighting a smile. "Just my old mind wandering." Gaius pushed his amusement away. "It might take a while. I fear this type of magic may surpass the powers you possess."

"When I first came to Camelot, I would have believed that," Merlin said quietly. "But then I met a wise man who taught me that there was a reason I have these powers. He taught me that there is good in my magic and that I can use it to fulfill my destiny. Arthur is meant to become the once and future king that will unite the lands of Albion. I have to believe that my destiny isn't meant to fail so soon."

Gaius's eyes widened. Not because of Merlin's words, but because of the way he said them. He didn't say them as if he was asking for it to be true. He was saying it as if he truly believed he would be able to do this. If Merlin could have that kind of faith in himself, then perhaps it was Gaius who needed to believe in him. "Keep trying m'boy," Gaius said after a long moment. "I'll never be happier to be proven wrong."

Merlin sighed and turned back to the basin. He said the spell again. And again. And again. And again. Over and over and over. He was relentless.

He had to do this. Merlin glanced up and saw the sun rising through the small window next to the cluttered bookshelf. He had been working on it for nearly five hours. He was beginning to fear that Gaius's words were true. He took a deep breath. He couldn't fail Arthur. He pulled up a picture of the prince in his head. He was able to recall every blonde strand on his head, the way his face would break out in a smile when he was teasing Merlin, the way his face would contort in mock anger when Merlin was late or tripped over something, the lines that formed around his mouth when he was frustrated with his father, and the way he would play with his belt behind his back when he was nervous and didn't want anyone to realize. Merlin kept those images in his head as he muttered the spell again. He wasn't going to give up. He would find Arthur if it took him a week or a month or a year. He would find him.

Gaius's gasp forced Merlin's eyes to flutter open. Merlin got a glimpse of Arthur. He was chained to a large stone table and he was unconscious. Merlin watched his chest rise slowly, too slowly. But he was alive. As soon as Merlin had processed that, the image disappeared. Merlin stared at the now clear water. "What happened? Where did it go?" Merlin asked confused. The book had said that once the spell had been successfully cast, only minimal magic would be required to uphold it.

"Merlin, didn't you see it?" Gaius asked surprised. The image had only been there a matter of seconds, but it had been long enough.

"I only saw him for a second before it disappeared. What did I miss?" Merlin asked confused.

"Nimueh was with him," Gaius said sadly.


	4. Nimueh

Merlin stared at Gaius, more confused than he was before. "Nimueh?" He asked shocked. What would Nimueh be doing with Arthur? Merlin had learned long ago that Nimueh wished Arthur dead, but he couldn't figure out why Nimueh would have taken him. She seemed to try to kill him in more subtle ways. Perhaps she had realized that wasn't working very well.

"I fear that she may have sensed your spell and created barriers so you could not see more. She's a powerful high priestess of the old religion," Gaius said quietly. He feared Arthur may be doomed. Merlin may be powerful, but he was no match for a high priestess.

"What would she want with Arthur?" Merlin asked. He was far more concerned about Arthur than Nimueh.

"This isn't the first time she's targeted him," Gaius pointed out. He could still recall how pale Merlin had become, how close to dying he came when Nimueh poisoned him to get to Arthur.

Merlin's face darkened, clearly remembering that incident. "Point taken," Merlin conceded. "But why now?"

Gaius bit his lip and Merlin glared at him. "You know why he was taken," Merlin accused.

"I have my suspicions," Gaius admitted. Merlin looked at him patiently. Gaius sighed. "The knight that was summoned, was Ygraine's brother, Tristan. He never forgave Uther for Ygraine's death."

"Why would he blame Uther?" Merlin asked confused. "Ygraine died during childbirth. It's not as if Uther could have prevented it." Merlin looked surprised at his own words. "I can't believe I'm defending him," he muttered.

Gaius was too distracted to even be slightly amused by Merlin's statement. "That is information I cannot disclose to you," Gaius told him. "I wish I could, but I promised the king long ago that I would not. Just understand that Tristan had his reasons for blaming Uther. Tristan tried to kill Uther once right after Ygraine had died. He was so fueled by grief and anger. Uther had no choice but to kill Tristan. I believe that because Tristan once again failed to kill Uther, Nimueh is going to the son to get to the father."

Merlin nodded. He knew Gaius would not betray his king and he didn't blame him. Gaius had been loyal to Uther for a long, long time. Merlin would not pressure him to break that loyalty. If Arthur asked him to keep something from Gaius, he wouldn't hesitate. "Did you recognize the place where Arthur was being held?" Merlin asked without much hope. The room was bland, the only distinguishing feature being the table. There had to be thousands of rooms like that in Albion.

Another guilty look crossed Gaius's face. He knew exactly where that room was. It was the very place that Uther had met with Nimueh when he was seeking help for Ygraine to conceive. He didn't know how to tell Merlin where he was without telling him how he knew. "He's in a room in the tallest tower of Idirsholas. That tower has been unoccupied for years. No one would think to look there," Gaius said.

"How did you know that?" Merlin asked curiously.

"I recognized it from my studies when I was just a boy," Gaius said, saying the first thing that popped into his head. It was a sign of how distracted Merlin was that he didn't question that excuse.

"How do I get there?" Merlin asked.

"Merlin, you can't just barge in there and expect Nimueh to hand him over. She's a very, very powerful high priestess of the old religion," Gaius pointed out.

"And she also kidnapped my friend," Merlin said determinedly. "Now, you can tell me how to get there, or I can figure it out myself."

Gaius reluctantly agreed. He looked to his bookshelf and pulled out a thin, brightly colored book. It was one that Gaius used often whilst consulting routes to take to gather various herbs. It contained maps of all of Albion. It was gifted to Gaius by no other than Uther and Ygraine when he became the court physician. It was one of his most precious possessions.

Gaius showed Merlin where the castle of Idirsholas was located and left him to figure out a plan. It's not that Gaius didn't want to help, but he knew Merlin would prefer to do this without him breathing down his neck. Gaius didn't approve, but he knew better than to stop Merlin. That would just result in Merlin sneaking behind his back and inevitably putting himself into more danger and probably getting arrested or killed.

Merlin set to work. He knew that there had to be a relatively short path to the castle. Even with the time it took Merlin to figure out how to do the spell, Arthur could only have been gone six or seven hours.

As Merlin looked through the maps, he realized Nimueh must have travelled some other way, because the fastest route to the castle was at least eight to nine hours, depending on how many times he had to stop to water and feed the horse.

Merlin got to work immediately. He packed meager food supplies. He knew he would have to stop eventually. He had barely slept and it was going to be a long trip. He'd need some form of energy, but he didn't want to pack too much. The more he packed, the more breaks the horse would have to take.

It only took Merlin about half an hour before he was galloping off towards the castle of Idirsholas. Perhaps it was because he was so anxious to find Arthur, but Merlin felt as if he were moving at a snail's pace. He knew that wasn't the case, but it felt like time was crawling.

Merlin had to stop and give the horse a break three times. He had to use his magic to find edible grass for his horse each time. The winter was not helping the quest for food. Merlin was grateful he had at least thought to pack his own food, so he didn't have to waste any time preparing something.

When Merlin finally arrived at the castle, he was exhausted. All he wanted to do was sleep, but he knew that would be an impossible feat until Arthur was safely back in Camelot.

Merlin tied his horse to a thick tree on the outskirts of the forest that surrounded the castle. Merlin hoped that the horse would be too far away to draw unwanted attention. Merlin was pleased with himself. He had made good time. It was just after midday.

Merlin stealthily crept into the castle. He was surprised that there wasn't anyone stationed at the doors, no guards patrolling the corridors. He had spent so much time mentally preparing himself for whatever Nimueh could throw at him, he didn't considered that there would be nothing. Nimueh probably didn't realize he had the ability to find Arthur and track him here.

For the first time, Merlin appreciated the fact that Nimueh had allowed her powers to go to her head. It gave Merlin the opening he needed to get to Arthur.

Merlin continued up a winding staircase. It was dark and Merlin kept thinking he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He knew it was in his head. He was letting this place get to him and was frightening himself.

When he finally got to the top, Merlin let out a sigh of relief. He was here. Closing his eyes, Merlin counted to three before he barged into the room.

The first thing he noticed was Arthur, lying on the very table he had been chained to earlier. He wasn't chained to it any longer and he was pale, so pale. Merlin didn't need to move any closer to him. He couldn't see the rise of his chest that meant he was breathing. He didn't see the color that was always present in Arthur's cheeks, a mix of his natural color and the exertion of his training. He didn't see the spark of life that was always present in his smile.

Merlin could feel his heart being torn to shreds. He was too late. He heard a slight movement behind him.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as Merlin took one last look at Arthur before he slowly turned around and came face to face with Nimueh.

Everything else disappeared around him. There was only one thing that mattered. Arthur was dead and it was all her fault. Merlin would get his revenge.


	5. The Spell

Arthur opened his eyes and looked around. At first all he could see was darkness, but as his eyes adjusted, he could make out more of the prison he was being held in. It was a plain room, not too large and was in the shape of a circle, if his eyes weren't deceiving him. The only thing in it was the table he was bound to and a handful of pillars that stretched to the ceiling.

Arthur fought against his restraints, before he slumped back against the table. It was futile trying to break through the chain. It was too thick.

After a moment, a door opened, a door Arthur hadn't even noticed before. Once it closed, he knew why. It wasn't even distinguishable from the wall. It was made of the same stone and there wasn't a knob or a handle to show it for what it was. You had to know exactly where it was to find it.

Arthur spent so much time, staring at the door and calculating the best way to get through it without drawing attention to himself, he nearly forgot that someone had entered.

"Ah, you're awake," a soft voice said. Arthur looked up at a woman. Her brown hair was up, but some strands framed her face. Her eyes were blue. Bluer than any other eyes Arthur had ever seen. It was the eyes that kept Arthur transfixed. They were so familiar.

After a few moments, Arthur realized where he recognized them from. "You," he said shocked. It was the sorceress that had nearly killed him when he was getting the remedy for Merlin. He tried to move, but his manacles prevented that.

"You recognize me," the woman said with a smile. Arthur nearly cringed at the approval he heard in her voice.

"Don't sound so pleased," Arthur snapped, his voice filled with hatred. "Why have you brought me here? What do you intend to do to me?"

"I intend to do nothing to you," the woman said. "I wish to invoke the same pain and horror on your father that he decreed on me and my kind."

"You're a sorceress. You are evil. That is why your people are hunted as they are. Do not blame my father for your own misdeeds," Arthur spat at her.

The woman suddenly looked towards the door. It was as if someone had called her name but only she could hear it. A pleased look crossed her face. "Is that truly what you believe?" She asked quietly when she turned back to Arthur. "Do you truly believe that my people are evil?"

"I do," Arthur said strongly. If there was anything he was certain of, it was that sorcery was evil. He had nearly been killed by a sorcerer many times. He had been deceived and tricked by sorcerers who wanted to use magic for their own corrupt reasons.

"Very well," the woman said. With a whispered word, Arthur was unbound from the table. He jumped up and backed up until his back was to the wall. The witch was still chanting and Arthur was certain she meant to kill him.

She finished chanting and took several steps back, disappearing into the shadows. Arthur waited, but nothing happened. Feelings of victory rose up in him. She had made some kind of mistake. She hadn't succeeded.

His victory was short lived as the door opened. Arthur felt his jaw drop when he saw who was standing in the doorway. It was Merlin.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked uncertainly. Merlin didn't even turn his head, but Arthur knew it was him. There was no way around it, he had very distinguishing features. His too big ears, his messy hair, his bony cheeks. "Merlin!" Arthur repeated, slightly louder. Despite how often he called Merlin useless, he was so happy to see him. He knew Merlin would be able to get him out of this. Arthur didn't know when he had gotten this level of faith in his manservant, but it surprised him. It had crept up on him when he least expected it.

But Merlin didn't acknowledge him. He was staring at something, something on the table. The look of horror and pain on his face had Arthur fearing that there had been some type of monster he had missed. Arthur looked toward the table and his jaw nearly dropped. It was him on the table, but it couldn't be. Arthur was quite certain he was standing against the wall. He was sure he would know if he were dead on a table. It was surreal to see himself like that.

Then in a moment of revelation, Arthur understood. This is what the witch had been doing. This is the spell she had cast. Merlin could not see or hear the real him. He could only see the dead him. But why? What battle did she have with Merlin?

Arthur's head spun with possibilities, but each seemed more unlikely than the last. He couldn't understand why Nimueh wanted to torment Merlin with a fake dead Arthur. He couldn't understand why Merlin would care.

Arthur watched as Merlin stared at his body. The grief that Merlin was feeling was undeniable. Arthur felt his own heart break as he watched Merlin. Arthur had always had difficulty reading Merlin, but now it was easy. His emotions were written across his face like words on a scroll. Arthur wanted to reach out and reassure Merlin that everything was okay, but he couldn't make himself move.

The witch stepped behind Merlin and as if he sensed it, Merlin turned to meet her. Arthur could no longer see Merlin's face, but he could see the way Merlin's entire body tensed up.

"I was wondering when you would show up," the witch said with a maniacal grin.

"Don't flatter yourself Nimueh. Even you cannot predict the future," Merlin told her angrily. Arthur stared. Merlin knew the witch?

"What's the matter Merlin? You sound upset," Nimueh taunted. Her cruel smile left no doubt that she was enjoying himself.

"You treat this as a joke, but I do not. You should not have killed my friend," Merlin said dangerously. Arthur could have sworn Merlin's eyes flicked over to him. And not to the body on the table, but the real him. The him that was standing against the wall.

Arthur shook his head. He was sure it was a trick of the light… well a trick of the dark.

"And what are you going to do?" Nimueh asked, looking genuinely amused. "You do not have the powers to kill me. You are a petty sorcerer. Not capable of anything more than simple magic tricks."

Arthur's jaw dropped. He was shocked that his jaw didn't disconnect from his head and fall all the way to the floor. Arthur couldn't move and a strange buzzing filled his head. Merlin. Clumsy, incompetent Merlin was a sorcerer. Nimueh had to be wrong. She had to be.

The luck was not in Arthur's favor. "I may not be as powerful as you Nimueh, but I do not need to be. You made a mistake. You did what no one should do. Arthur was my destiny. I was meant to protect him. Now he's dead. If I die, so what? There is nothing left for me. Never underestimate the power of someone with nothing to lose," Merlin warned.

Arthur felt as if his world were crashing down around him. He had never felt so overwhelmed. He was internally at war. Half of him didn't care what Merlin was. Merlin was Merlin. He was the man that woke him every morning and prepared him for bed at night. He was the man that told the worst jokes in the history of Camelot. He was the man that had saved Arthur's life on two occasions. But the other half of Arthur, which was ironically the louder half, was screaming at him for trusting a sorcerer. For ever putting his faith in one. This half was telling him that Merlin deserved to die. He practiced the darkest of arts. There could be no forgiveness. Arthur's heart and head started to pound, drowning out all other sounds. He couldn't handle this right now. It was too much. Part of him wanted to get as far away from Merlin and Nimueh as he could, but the other part of him wanted to run over to Merlin, shove him into a wall, and demand an explanation.

Arthur grabbed his head. He couldn't even think straight. He took deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down.

Merlin's words weren't enough. He sounded like he had Arthur's best interests at heart, but that could be a lie. It could be his way to try to distract Nimueh. Arthur didn't know what the mumbo jumbo about his destiny was, but Merlin was clearly torn up because he thought Arthur was dead. Surely that meant he truly cared about Arthur. Right?

But he also kept this from Arthur. He lied to him every day and kept the biggest secret from him. How could he trust someone that lied to him like that?

Arthur closed his eyes and made himself concentrate on Nimueh and Merlin. Right now that was the only way he was going to get answers.


	6. Truths

"I was wondering when you would show up," Nimueh said to Merlin with a smile. It was too perfect that it had been Merlin that found the prince. She had suspected it would be him when she sensed the scrying spell earlier, but she couldn't be certain.

Merlin hated that smile, hated the way she looked so pleased with what she had done to Arthur. He hated everything about her. His malice showed in his voice. "Don't flatter yourself Nimueh. Even you cannot predict the future," Merlin spat at her. He was furious, but only a small part of that fury was directed at Nimueh. Most of it was directed towards himself. He had been too late. Merlin had believed he would get there just in time, just as he always had, but there was no happily ever after this time. The feelings of failure settled deep in him and Merlin was channeling that failure towards Nimueh. If he had failed at saving Arthur, the least he could do was avenge his death… or die trying.

"What's the matter Merlin? You sound upset," Nimueh said to him. Merlin knew she was trying to get to him. He knew he was giving her exactly what she wanted, but he couldn't care. He had no control over his emotions at that moment.

"You treat this as a joke, but I do not," Merlin warned. He wondered if his voice sounded as strange to her as it did to him. "You should not have killed my friend." Out of the corner of his eye, Merlin could have sworn he saw Arthur, but the second he turned to look at him, the image was gone. Merlin internally scolded himself. It was wishful thinking. He could see Arthur right before him, lying on the table. Arthur was dead. No amount of imagination would change that.

"And what are you going to do?" Nimueh asked him. "You do not have the powers to kill me. You are a petty sorcerer. Not capable of anything more than simple magic tricks." Merlin nearly snorted. He may not be a high priest of the old religion, but he was much more than a petty sorcerer.

"I may not be as powerful as you Nimueh, but I do not need to be. You made a mistake. You did what no one should do. Arthur was my destiny. He's dead. He was the reason I was born. And now? If I die, so what? There is nothing left for me. Never underestimate the power of someone with nothing to lose," Merlin warned her. Merlin meant his words. There was nothing left for him now. For the first time, he understood the true meaning behind his destiny. Now that he had failed, he felt hollow.

He had heard time and time again from the people Gaius treated that you seldom realized what you had until you lost it. Women that had lost their children and husbands had said it over and over again. Merlin had never been able to understand. He thought he understood and appreciated everything he had been granted, but he had been wrong. For the first time, Merlin understood what they meant.

Merlin saw that same Arthur in the corner of his vision, except this time his face was contorted with a mix of anger, shock, and betrayal. Merlin didn't turn his head, for fear that this phantom Arthur would disappear. It was his brain, giving him what he most wanted, even if it was a negative reaction. This is how Merlin imagined Arthur would have acted when he learned of Merlin's secret powers. Now? Merlin would never know if this would have been his reaction. Merlin would never know if acceptance would have followed his anger. He would never know if Arthur would have grown to understand Merlin and his magic, or if this would permanently damage the strange friendship that had formed between them. He would never know. But if this is all he gets, then so be it. As if he were speaking to Arthur, Merlin continued.

"He was my friend. I never thought it would happen. When I was told he was my destiny, I couldn't believe it was my job to keep such an arrogant prat alive," Merlin explained. Part of his brain kept an eye on his imaginary Arthur, watching his reaction. He wouldn't look away. He needed to have some semblance of the closure he would never truly get. "Arthur was arrogant and selfish and pigheaded, but he was also a good man. He would have ruled this land with compassion and justice. He might even have learned to accept me one day. Learned that not everyone who possesses magic uses it as you do. That not every sorcerer is as corrupt and vengeful as you. He might have welcomed it back into the kingdom just as he was destined to do. But now? That future will never come to pass. You believe that you created a new future, but you have killed the future of Camelot." His Arthur almost looked approving. Merlin nearly smiled to himself. This was exactly what he would have hoped for. That Arthur would listen to him and understand him. This was as close to that as he would get. Even if this isn't how Arthur would have reacted, it was something. Something for Merlin to hold onto, to keep in his memories.

"Words. That's all those are Merlin," Nimueh told him quietly. "They are nice words, but they have no meaning. You failed him. It is not my fault he is gone. It is yours."

Merlin closed his eyes. He knew the truth in her words. This was his failure, but that didn't mean he caused Arthur's death. It was the darkness in Nimueh that killed Arthur. When he opened his eyes, he shocked himself with how determined he felt. "You are wrong," he said slowly, but loudly. "Arthur's death was not my doing. You are so fueled by hatred that you underestimate the power of love. You are seeking vengeance on the son for the crimes of the father. What could Uther have done that was so terrible? What horrors could he have inflicted that you are willing to torment the innocent?"

Nimueh smiled at Merlin as if she had accomplished something. Merlin felt a feeling of dread creep through him, as if he had set her up for something she had desperately wanted to reveal. He ignored those feelings. She had already killed Arthur. There was nothing more she could do to hurt him. Whatever secrets she was about to expose could not hurt more than Arthur's death. "Do you really want to know?" Nimueh asked him. Merlin hesitated before he nodded. If he was to die by Nimueh's hand, he wanted this last mystery to be solved. Gaius wouldn't tell him, but perhaps Nimueh would. "It goes beyond his persecution of my people. Twenty-one years ago, magic flourished in this kingdom. There was peace between magical beings and the non-magical. Even Uther accepted it. He asked for magical solutions when he needed help, welcomed sorcery in his land. Uther and Ygraine had married years before and had long since learned that Ygraine was incapable of conception. He had come to me asking for help. He so desperately craved an heir. I was younger then. I did not know the rules of nature. To give a life, you must take a life." Nimueh's voice sounded almost sad. "They were my friends. I would never have wished ill upon either of them. I did not know what would happen, or I never would have granted his wish. I lost a good friend and made an enemy with another. Uther allowed his grief to impact his rule. That is why Uther hates magic. Not because of what I did, but because of what he did. Arthur's life was at the cost of Ygraine's. The balance of nature was restored."

Merlin stared at her shocked. He couldn't believe his ears. It wasn't possible, but it made so much sense. For the first time, Merlin was grateful that Arthur wasn't here to hear this. He already felt guilty for his mother's death. Knowing he was truly the cause of that would kill him. The fake Arthur in the corner of Merlin's vision looked exactly how Merlin expected the real Arthur would look. As if he were drowning on air and couldn't figure out why. Merlin felt the strangest urge to comfort him, but how can you comfort a figment of your imagination? Merlin struggled to make his subconscious think of a happier looking Arthur, but nothing worked.

After a moment of silence, Nimueh looked up at Merlin, her blue eyes filled with victory. "You were wrong Merlin. I am all too aware of the powers of love. I understand how it can make someone reckless. I knew you would be too blinded by your love for your young prince to realize the truth that is standing in front of you. It is for this reason that you have failed Arthur," Nimueh told him. Merlin watched with horror as Nimueh turned, not to Arthur, who was dead on the table, but to the area where his imaginary Arthur stood.

In a moment of clarity, Merlin understood. Arthur had been alive this whole time. The Arthur in the corner of his eye hadn't been a figment of his imagination. It had been the real Arthur. This was Nimueh's plan all along. She didn't just want to kill Arthur. She wanted to make him suffer before he died. She wanted him to feel some of the pain she herself had felt. Merlin had been so blinded by his grief that he hadn't even considered the possibility that he was alive. Now, he realized how foolish he had been.

Instinctively, Merlin ran. He knew the moment he ran into Arthur by the painful feeling of having run into a wall that spread through him. Merlin knew that Nimueh's spell had been broken. He could see Arthur clearly now, could hear his grunt of pain as he fell to the ground. Maintaining eye contact with Arthur, Merlin allowed his magic to course through him. Allowed Arthur to see the real him for the first time. Screaming, Merlin turned to face Nimueh.

He knew what Arthur would see. He would see the flash of gold in Merlin's eyes that signified the magic he was wielding.

Nimueh flew backwards into the wall. Somehow she remained upright. She muttered something under her breath and suddenly the entire building they were in was shaking as if the earth was being split in half under it. Big pieces of stone fell from the ceiling. Merlin raised his hand, creating an invisible shield that protected himself and Arthur from the rock and cement. Once the cloud of dust and debris had cleared, the sunshine lit up the room. After having spent so much time in the darkness, both Merlin's and Arthur's eyes had to adjust to the light.

Merlin was almost surprised. It was so bright and beautiful outside. It was almost difficult to think they were trapped in their own dark battle in this tower.

Nimueh's eyes flashed red and shadows swept over the castle. Merlin looked up at the storm Nimueh was creating. Taking advantage of his distraction, Nimueh threw a threatening looking fireball at Merlin. It hit him square in the chest, throwing him back into a wall. His head fell back and hit the wall. Hard. Black dots danced in his vision. He couldn't move. He was gasping for breath, but felt no relief. He couldn't breathe.

Merlin almost welcomed the blackness. He would rather die than watch Arthur die. He knew he was not powerful enough to defeat Nimueh.

Then there was Arthur. Standing in front of him. Arthur put his hand on his shoulder. "Breathe Merlin," Arthur ordered. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Please. For me."


	7. Starting New

As if Arthur had become a calming presence, Merlin could feel his breath return. The wind that was knocked out of him came back full force, leaving Merlin gasping. Merlin took deep breaths and filled his lungs with glorious air. He felt like he couldn't get enough air into his lungs fast enough. The fog cleared from his head and once his eyes focused, he was surprised to see Arthur's face right in front of his, the concern evident on his face. Once he realized Merlin was breathing, Arthur took a step back, giving Merlin his space.

"Thanks," Merlin said, almost surprised. His voice sounded raspy, but Merlin wasn't sure if that was from Arthur or from his hit to the wall.

"I should say the same to you," Arthur said with a small shrug. There was a faint smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. Merlin didn't say anything further, he could still see the conflicting emotions behind Arthur's eyes. He was grateful for this little bit that Arthur could offer.

Arthur and Merlin were pulled from their small moment by Nimueh's laughter. "Oh, this is just precious," Nimueh said, her voice filled with amusement. "The sorcerer and the prince. It's better than any old wives' tale. I never would have suspected, but I suppose that was your intention."

"What are you talking about?" Merlin asked her annoyed. He hated the way she spoke. As if she had uncovered some deep secret and she was baiting them by dropping hints but refusing to tell them anything of value.

Arthur glared at Nimueh. He hated that he had given the witch this power over him, for nothing was more powerful than knowing what is in someone's heart. He hadn't wanted anyone to know. He was sure she was going to use this to her advantage.

"Did you think you were being subtle?" Nimueh asked. She was looking right at Arthur. Merlin glanced at Arthur and then back at Nimueh. Arthur looked like he smelled something foul and Nimueh looked like she had discovered lost jewels or something equally as valuable.

"No," Arthur whispered. "I just thought everyone else was oblivious." Now Merlin was really getting annoyed. He hated being left out. He had spent a majority of his childhood being left out of conversations, watching other people talk to one another as if he wasn't there. He had always been "that weird kid", the one who was an outcast. He had never wanted to feel like that again. It felt worse knowing it was Arthur who was keeping secrets from him this time. Then, naturally, Merlin had to start feeling guilty, because it went beyond being a hypocrite to be annoyed with Arthur for keeping secrets. It's not like Merlin hadn't kept his fair share of secrets from Arthur. Secrets that led to Arthur being completely blindsided right now.

"Ah," Nimueh said, looking at Arthur as if he were a science experiment. "So you accepted it."

Merlin forced his annoyance aside and began to watch their interaction with curiosity. He could read Nimueh's body language like a book. He could see the calculating look behind her eyes. Could see the way she was drumming her fingers against her hip as if she were waiting for something. He knew Nimueh was trying to distract them, was waiting for the opportune moment to strike, but he wasn't going to let her succeed. He was watching her every move intently, all the while, he was trying to understand Arthur's strange words. Merlin had to hope that everything would be explained. If not, he would just question Arthur later, because there would be a later.

"Is there any point in denying it? I can't help how I feel about him and pretending otherwise is not going to accomplish anything," Arthur told her. Arthur glanced at Merlin then looked away. This wasn't how he envisioned sharing this secret, but better now than never, right? And Arthur wasn't sure he would get another chance.

Merlin's jaw dropped. Did he just say…? Merlin couldn't believe his ears. There was no way the prince of Camelot would have feelings for him. Suddenly Merlin understood. He could see why Arthur had been acting so strangely. Everything flashed before his eyes, every movement, every awkward eye contact, every flush in his cheeks. He could now see how oblivious he had been.

It seemed Nimueh was nearly as shocked as Merlin. However, she recovered quickly. "You are different Arthur Pendragon," she said slowly as if she were putting together the pieces of a puzzle. "Different enough to be the one man capable of ruining my plans for the future. A future where my people will get our revenge on the men who have hunted, captured, and killed us for twenty years. That is not a risk I can take."

Nimueh began chanting under her breath. She was so preoccupied with Arthur that she wasn't paying any attention to Merlin. But Arthur was.

Merlin considered himself lucky that Nimueh was so over-confident. She didn't believe anyone could be as powerful as her. She was the embodiment of corruption. And Merlin couldn't be more grateful in that moment.

Arthur watched as Merlin reached a hand to the sky as if he were trying to grab one of the rainclouds that hovered in the darkened sky.

Merlin's eyes glowed gold as he manipulated the storm. He summoned the lightning. He had never felt so close to his magic, had never felt so powerful. Nimueh watched Merlin amused. She doubted his abilities and was eager to see what petty magic he would try to use to defeat her. She looked at the lightning curiously.

By the time she realized what he was doing, it was too late. In the split second before the lightning struck her, Merlin could see the look of horror and utter fear on her face. If she hadn't tried to kill Arthur, Merlin might feel bad for her.

It only took a matter of seconds, but when it was over, all that was left of Nimueh was a pile of ash on the ground. Merlin stared at the ashes that used to be his enemy. The ashes that used to be a person that became greedy and vengeful with power. It seemed surreal. He couldn't believe this was really over. Nimueh would never torment him or Arthur or Camelot ever again. This was over.

Arthur was more shocked than Merlin. Just minutes ago, he hadn't even known Merlin was capable of levitating a toothpick with magic. It was hard to comprehend that not only was Merlin hiding his magic, his magic was powerful. More powerful than anything Arthur had ever seen before. It was weird and terrifying.

Arthur was also struck with a realization. Merlin could have killed him at any time. It would have been easy for him, judging by how simple it was for him to take out Nimueh. But he never did. In fact, he came to Arthur's rescue. Arthur now realized that his father's persecution of those who practice magic was wrong. Arthur had seen great evil, but he had also witnessed the pure goodness of magic. Everything his father ever taught him was a lie. Arthur's creativity showed as he compiled a very colorful list of insults that he would most definitely share with his father when they got back. A blood-thirsty, filthy hypocrite was the tamest insult on that list.

His thoughts must have been obvious on his face, because Merlin spoke, pulling him from his internal rampage against his father. "Arthur," Merlin whispered. "I really don't think your father knew that your mother would die to give you life."

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't change what he did," Arthur muttered angrily.

"If you needed an heir and you didn't know the price you would have to pay, wouldn't you do whatever you could to produce that heir?" Merlin asked him quietly.

"That's not what I was talking about," Arthur said. "How many sorcerers did he kill because of his own mistake? How many innocent men, women, and children died at his hands? How many died because I was born?"

"It's funny how losing a loved one can change someone," Merlin told him pensively. "Uther was in the unfortunate position where he had the power to change the laws in the kingdom, had the power to start a massacre and had no one to stop him. Perhaps your father regrets it, but doesn't want to admit it. He's a stubborn man." Merlin took one look at the look on Arthur's face that showed he wasn't budging in his opinion of his father anytime soon. "Like father, like son," Merlin muttered.

Arthur took a deep breath and tried to calm down. It took Arthur several moments to compose his thoughts. It had been a strange day. His father's betrayal still stung him, it would for a long time. He now realized just how much his father had damaged the magical world, just how many people had been wrongly persecuted. Arthur winced at the thought of what could have happened to Merlin had his father found out about his powers.

If Arthur was certain of anything, it was that he didn't know anything anymore. Arthur made the decision to start over with a clean slate. He was going to give his father the chance to explain himself and Arthur was going to make it clear that there weren't going to be anymore lies.

Arthur was also going to give Merlin a chance. Arthur knew the evils of Nimueh and some sorcerers, but he wanted to understand the goodness they could possess.

Arthur was starting new. He let out a breath. He could only hope it would be that easy.


	8. Home

Arthur didn't know how long he had been sitting there, but when he finally had organized his last jumbled thought, darkness had fallen over the castle. Not the darkness of a storm, but the true darkness only night can bring. Arthur found Merlin sitting down by a door that was slightly ajar.

Arthur forced himself to walk towards Merlin. Part of his brain was yelling at him to scream or run or both, warning him that Merlin was a sorcerer. But the larger part of his brain was telling that part to shut up. He was willing himself to forget twenty years of being taught that magic was evil.

Arthur reached down and lightly touched Merlin's shoulder. Merlin's gaze snapped up to meet his. Arthur moved his hand from his shoulder and offered it to Merlin, to help him stand up. Merlin hesitated before he took it. Arthur pulled him to his feet in one fluid motion.

For a moment, they stood face to face, neither willing to break the moment. Merlin had a slightly scared look on his face. Arthur wished he could make it go away. He had so much to say to Merlin, but he didn't have the energy to say it right now. Arthur said the only thing he could. "Let's go home," Arthur said quietly.

Merlin nodded. Arthur motioned for Merlin to lead the way and for the first time in Arthur's life, he was okay with someone else taking the lead. Merlin guided Arthur out of the castle and towards the edge of the forest where the horse was tied.

"I only brought one horse," Merlin admitted. He cursed his lack of forethought. He had known, well he had hoped he would be leaving with Arthur.

Arthur couldn't help the small smile that spread across his face. "We'll ride together," he told Merlin.

Merlin nodded. "It will only be for a couple of hours. Then we'll have to stop to rest," Merlin told him.

For the first time, Arthur noticed the bags under Merlin's eyes. Arthur realized that while he had been unconscious for several hours, Merlin had been awake, trying to find him. When was the last time Merlin slept? Thirty hours ago? And despite the fact that he had been unconscious, Arthur felt strangely exhausted. Arthur nodded his consent. "We'll stop soon, let's just get away from this place," Arthur told him.

Merlin and Arthur awkwardly stood at the horse's side, unsure of how to proceed. This was unfamiliar territory for both of them. After a moment, Arthur mounted the horse. He helped Merlin up in front of him. It was strange, but not unpleasant. They were both grown men, so the only way they fit on the horse was if Merlin's back was pressed against Arthur's chest. Arthur reached around Merlin to grab the reins, pulling Merlin even closer to him. Arthur's chin rested on Merlin's shoulder. Arthur reveled in the closeness as he urged the horse forward. The horse moved at a slow pace. While Arthur knew his presence would be missed, he was in no hurry to get back to Camelot. After an hour, they had barely made any progress. It would probably take them over twenty four hours to get back to Camelot at this rate, but Arthur didn't care.

It was Merlin that made the suggestion. "We're far enough away," Merlin said. "And we're moving at a snail's pace. We might as well stop for the night."

"Here?" Arthur asked uncertainly. He felt Merlin shift slightly as he looked around. It was so dark in the forest that Arthur couldn't see what he was doing.

Merlin tugged at the reins slightly motioning the horse in a different direction. After a couple of seconds of walking, Merlin pulled on the horse to stop it. "There's a clearing right up ahead," Merlin told him.

Merlin slid off the horse, nearly walking into a tree as he did so. Arthur got off the horse and walked with his hands in front of him, hoping he was going in the right direction. He heard Merlin's laughter. "Um Arthur… You're going to walk right into a tree if you keep walking forward," Merlin told him.

"Excuse me if I don't have super powers and can't see in the dark," Arthur told him. There was a hint of the banter they often tossed back and forth.

"I can't see in the dark," Merlin told him. "At least not without magic."

"So you cheated," Arthur muttered.

Merlin chuckled. "Right. I'll stop using it right this second. Try not to walk into a tree," Merlin teased.

"I wasn't telling you to stop, I was just stating a fact," Arthur retorted.

When Merlin didn't say anything else, Arthur was concerned that he might have said something wrong. After a moment, Arthur felt something warm brush against the back of his hand. "This way," Merlin whispered. Arthur grasped Merlin's arm and allowed himself to trust Merlin not to crash him into a tree.

It was strange having to put his absolute faith in someone, but being trapped in the darkness, he had no choice.

Merlin suddenly came to a stop, sending Arthur crashing right into him. Arthur heard Merlin take a deep breath before he muttered something under his breath. There was a wooshing sound, as if the wind had picked up. After a loud clatter and a crackling sound, light illuminated the small clearing Merlin had led them to. Arthur stared transfixed by the fire Merlin had created with a few foreign words. After a moment, he looked around the clearing.

"Wow," Arthur muttered.

"I didn't pack anything for you to sleep on," Merlin said apologetically. "I didn't think that far ahead."

Arthur chuckled. "You picked a good area. There are a lot of pine needles we could collect to make a makeshift bed," Arthur said looking around. He blushed and looked at Merlin. "I mean two makeshift beds."

Merlin turned away from Arthur. Instantly, thousands of pine needles were flying towards Arthur, landing in a neat pile at his feet. Arthur watched as a similar pile formed in front of Merlin, a couple of feet away from his own pile. Merlin started to walk towards Arthur. Arthur didn't need to ask, he knew what Merlin was doing. Putting Arthur first, like always. "I can do mine," Arthur told him. "You work on yours."

"But sire," Merlin said shocked.

Somehow that hurt Arthur more than he had expected. After everything they had gone through today, it didn't seem right that Merlin still looked at Arthur as his master.

"Just do it Merlin," Arthur snapped. Arthur quickly made his own bed then lay down on his side, facing away from Merlin.

Arthur heard the shuffling as Merlin did the same. It took Arthur a long time to fall asleep. His mind was so preoccupied, it took a long time for him to still his racing thoughts. He was pulled from his sleep by a shout. It was to a cry of "Arthur!"

Arthur sat up instantly. It was still dark, really dark. Arthur knew it had to be the middle of the night. The dying campfire cast eerie shadows on everything, giving the clearing a haunted look and providing little light. Arthur looked towards Merlin who was sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

"What is it Merlin?" Arthur asked worriedly.

"I keep seeing it," Merlin whispered. "I keep seeing you dead. I can't get it out of my head." Arthur had never heard Merlin sound so vulnerable before.

Arthur immediately stood up and walked over to Merlin. He sat down by his side and put his arm around his shoulder. It wasn't a romantic gesture, but one of comfort. "I'm right here," Arthur told him. "And I'm not going anywhere."

Arthur couldn't say when they fell asleep again, but when they woke up, his arms were wrapped around Merlin, keeping him safe as he slept. Arthur didn't move. He didn't want to. He felt so comfortable with Merlin. He never wanted this moment to end.

Merlin woke up just minutes later. Arthur had closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. He wanted to know what Merlin's genuine reaction would be if he didn't have to put on a show for Arthur.

"Oh no," Merlin muttered. He couldn't believe he had gotten himself into this position. He was far too close to Arthur. It wasn't right for a manservant to lie this close to his master. It wasn't proper. "Arthur's going to kill me."

"Why is Arthur going to kill you?" Arthur asked confused, opening his eyes.

"Arthur!" Merlin said shocked. "You're… uh… awake."

"I think that much was obvious," Arthur told him.

"I just… I didn't know that we… uh… you know," Merlin said, gesturing to their closeness and Arthur's arms still wrapped around him. Merlin twisted out of his hold so he was facing Arthur and immediately a strange sense of emptiness washed over both of them. Merlin was still close to him. There were only a few inches between them, but it felt like a mile.

They stared at each other, not really sure what to do next.


	9. Feelings

Arthur didn't know what to say or do. It was an exhilarating feeling, not knowing what was going to happen next.

"Morning," Merlin said, breaking the silence. He didn't know what else to say and that seemed like as good a thing as any.

Arthur chuckled. "Good morning," he agreed.

"How did you sleep?" Merlin asked him.

Arthur truly considered his question. "Better than I have in weeks," Arthur answered honestly. It had been far more comfortable than he had ever anticipated, sleeping with Merlin in his arms. Then Arthur remembered how he had come to be by Merlin's side when he woke up. "I don't think you can say the same. What happened last night Merlin?"

Merlin looked away, the tips of his ears reddening from embarrassment. "Nothing," Merlin said. "I'm sorry I woke you up. It was childish."

"No it wasn't," Arthur told him. Arthur propped himself up on his elbow and Merlin did the same, still looking at the ground. Arthur tilted Merlin's head slightly, forcing him to make eye contact. "What happened?"

"It was just a silly nightmare," Merlin said evasively. It was childish, but Merlin didn't want Arthur to think any less of him for allowing a nightmare to affect him so.

"Merlin," Arthur warned.

"Fine," Merlin said annoyed. He hated that Arthur was able to do this. Arthur made him feel like he should explain what was bothering him. It wasn't his place and Arthur would have usually been the first person to tell him so. "I kept seeing it and feeling it. Every time I closed my eyes, I see you dead on that table. I remember how I felt. I really thought you were gone. I thought I had failed you." Merlin's voice dropped to a whisper. "I thought I had lost you." He had never had such a moment of revelation as when he saw Arthur on that table. He realized just how much Arthur meant to him, realized what it would mean if he had lost him.

"That will never happen," Arthur told him sincerely. "I'm not going anywhere." It seemed the natural course of action that Arthur closed the distance between them. It was almost hesitant, but when he finally brushed his lips against Merlin's, it set something into action that neither of them had anticipated. The effect was instantaneous. Merlin threw his arms around Arthur, pulling him closer and Arthur ran one of his hands through Merlin's hair, the other pressing into the small of his back.

It wasn't proper. It went against all the etiquette Arthur had been taught about courting. They shouldn't be this close to each other. They shouldn't be kissing as they were. Hell, Arthur should never do anything like this with a man. It simply wasn't how things were done. But neither of them cared. The feelings that sprung up in them were like nothing they had ever felt before. Arthur didn't think he could control himself even if he wanted to. All he wanted to do was get closer to Merlin, to always feel the electricity that was coursing through his body because of their kiss. He never wanted this moment to end.

Merlin felt as if there had been a piece of him that was missing and he hadn't even noticed until he found it. Merlin couldn't bring himself to distance himself from the prince, even if he wanted to. Too soon, far too soon he knew it would be over.

Merlin was more than content to enjoy this little piece of happiness that was so seldom granted to them.

When they broke apart, both of them were panting. The kiss hadn't been perfect. To say it was flawless would be a lie. But the flaws made it more perfect than anything else in the world.

"Wow," Merlin whispered.

"You got that right," Arthur agreed, surprised. He hadn't thought he could feel this depth of emotion. Merlin stirred something in him that went beyond lust. Arthur felt like he could explode with everything he was feeling.

"Where does this leave us?" Merlin asked uncertainly. "I'm a sorcerer."

"That doesn't matter," Arthur told him seriously. "I don't care if you turn into a bird at night…" Arthur paused. "Well, actually that might be a deal breaker." Merlin chuckled. Arthur smiled then instantly became serious. "I don't know what is going to happen or what struggles we are going to face, but I want you by my side, every step of the way." Arthur didn't know how this happened in just a few short months. He had hated Merlin when he first met him, but now? He couldn't imagine his life without him.

Merlin's eyes widened. "Why don't you hate me? I'm a sorcerer. You hate sorcerers," Merlin said confused.

"I was taught my whole life that magic is evil. Now I know why. I realize that not all sorcerers are like Nimueh. It wouldn't be right to punish an entire people for the misdeeds of one. That would be like hanging all the villagers, because one villager committed a crime. It isn't how things are done. In his grief, my father lost sight of that," Arthur told him. He was still far from forgiving his father, but he was starting to understand. "It took one man to change everything I believed about magic. You saved my life, a debt I can never repay."

"You already have repaid it. One hundred times over," Merlin told him. "I didn't realize how I felt about you until I thought I had lost you. I tried to tell myself I was only upset because I had failed you, but it went beyond that. I got a glimpse of what my life would be like without you. I never want to live that life. You have no idea what it means to me that I don't have to."

"I think I do," Arthur said quietly.

It was Merlin this time who closed the distance between them. This kiss was so different from the one that Arthur had started. This kiss was Merlin through and through. It was calm and sweet and passionate. It was also short.

"We should head back," Merlin whispered to Arthur when they broke apart.

Arthur sighed. "I know," he agreed.

They mounted the horse the same way they had before, but it didn't seem as awkward this time. The journey also seemed to go much faster even though they were moving just as slowly.

When they were close to the gates, Merlin tugged on the reigns. He got off the horse. Arthur looked at him confused. "We wouldn't want people to spread rumors," Merlin told him quietly. He wasn't stupid. They may have admitted that they had feelings for each other, but that didn't mean that they could flaunt their feelings. It wasn't unheard of for a man to lie with a man, but it was something that was considered vile and unclean. They could never be open about their relationship.

Arthur got off the horse as well and held Merlin's hand in his own. "I don't want you to be a secret," Arthur told him. "I want the world to know how I feel about you."

Merlin looked at him uncertainly. "This is not going to be pretty. People are going to be shocked and angry. They're not going to like this," he said motioning to their entwined hands.

"I don't care," Arthur said determinedly. He bit his lip and hesitated before he continued. "I'm serious about this Merlin. Really serious. This isn't just a phase or something for the season. I don't want you to be some passing fancy. And I want my people to see that. I want them to learn to respect you."

Merlin suddenly felt the need to declare himself. Arthur hadn't said it, but he implied it. And it had been burning on the tip of Merlin's tongue for hours. Merlin figured there wasn't a better time than the present. "I'm serious about this too Arthur. I… um… I love you," Merlin told him seriously.

Arthur stared and stared and stared. How many times had he dreamt about hearing those words from Merlin? How many times had he envisioned this moment? Yet, not one of those dreams managed to capture the perfection of reality.

Merlin stared at Arthur. He wasn't reacting, wasn't saying anything. Merlin feared that he had revealed this too soon. That perhaps Arthur's feelings weren't that of love.

It took Arthur several minutes to form any coherent words. He was terrified. He had always prided himself on being brave, but compared to Merlin, Arthur was like a cat that hid behind a large vase every time it thundered. It shouldn't have been frightening, but it was. Saying it out loud, meant that Merlin had power over him. He had the power to break his heart. But Arthur knew Merlin already had that power. Had had it for a long time. And he had never abused that privilege. True, he hadn't been aware of it, but still. Instead of taking advantage of the vulnerable position Arthur had put himself in, Merlin made his own heart vulnerable and shared with Arthur the depth of his own feelings.

With that in mind, Arthur finally found the courage to say what he needed to say. "I love you too."


	10. Confrontation

Merlin smiled at Arthur. He knew they were going to face much opposition, but nothing had ever felt more right to him. He had never thought that he would hear those words from someone who wasn't his mother. It didn't seem real. Then the truth hit him like a ton of bricks. This was real. The crowned prince of Camelot just admitted he had feelings for him. Merlin didn't have any sort of ranking that made him acceptable for Arthur. He was a simple peasant. Born of the very thing Arthur had been taught to hate. Yet the prince had chosen him. This wasn't something he was going to wake up from and Merlin couldn't be more grateful for that.

Arthur was willing to look past rank and gender and laws, for him. Merlin realized just how much Arthur really must love him. He was willing to accept that magic is not inherently evil. He was willing to change the laws of Camelot, willing to go against his father. All for him. That realization made Merlin love Arthur more than he thought possible.

Not caring if anyone walking past the gate could see them, Merlin took a step towards Arthur. He lightly brushed his lips against Arthur's. It was a slow kiss, one that was meant to be reassuring. Merlin hoped he got the message across: that no matter what, he was going to be by Arthur's side.

"Let's go home," Arthur whispered. He squeezed Merlin's hand reassuringly and they walked through the gates.

As Merlin expected, the sight of them was met with stares and whispers. However, both Merlin and Arthur were surprised to realize that there weren't as many angry whispers as curious. Perhaps this wasn't going to be as difficult as they had anticipated. They had built it up so much in their heads, been prepared for such outrage and discontent, that reality didn't hold a candle to their imaginations.

As they got closer to the castle, they were met by several knights. "My lord," Henry, one of the older knights said. Merlin didn't really know Henry well. He was one of the king's most trusted knights and tended to keep to himself except in matters of war. When Uther had entrusted Arthur to train the knights, Henry had guided him until he had gotten used to it. All of the knights were sporting similar looks of relief. "You are back safe and sound."

If Henry was surprised to see Arthur and Merlin holding hands, he said nothing. None of the knights seemed to have any kind of reaction. That scared Merlin more than he thought possible. Not having a reaction was worse than being angry or upset. Not having a reaction meant they were hiding how they felt. Not knowing was worse, much worse than knowing it was bad.

"I need to meet with my father immediately," Arthur told them, his face hardening slightly. He knew he needed to talk to his father about what he had learned. He was still furious, but he knew he couldn't put it off. He deserved the answers he had been deprived of as a child.

"Of course sire," Henry said, nodding his head. "I shall inform the king of your return. He will be most relieved."

"I'll bet," Arthur muttered under his breath. Naturally, his father wanted to protect the cargo that cost him his wife. Arthur mentally berated himself. Now he was being childish. He had told himself that he was going to hear his father out, but the closer he got to that moment, the more he just wanted to yell at Uther for being so selfish and hateful.

Henry led Arthur and Merlin towards the throne room, where Uther was no doubt sorting through paperwork. Henry stepped inside to announce that Arthur was back.

When Henry returned, he informed Arthur that he could enter. Arthur released his grip on Merlin's hand and shot him an apologetic look. No matter what he had said before, he was not ready for his father to know. Arthur didn't want Merlin to be his secret, but now that he was facing the devil himself, he couldn't do it. There was no way his father would see them holding hands and not have Merlin arrested on the spot. Merlin nodded to show that he understood.

"No one is to enter. Do you understand?" Arthur said to Henry.

"No one shall enter. You have my word," Henry said seriously.

Merlin started to follow Arthur in, but Henry stopped him. "He said no one," Henry pointed out apologetically.

Arthur had to use a lot of self-control to resist an eye roll. "No one except Merlin," Arthur said, motioning for Merlin to follow.

"Of course sire. My apologies," Henry said quietly. Arthur heard the familiar shuffle of Merlin's boots on concrete as they entered the throne room.

"Arthur!" Uther said, standing up when his son walked in. "I was so worried. Where have you been?" Uther saw Merlin standing a couple of steps behind Arthur and didn't think anything of it. He was Arthur's manservant after all.

"I was captured by a sorceress," Arthur said slowly. "It was only thanks to the diligence of Merlin..." Arthur intentionally didn't call Merlin his manservant. He saw Uther's eyes narrow slightly in recognition. He didn't appreciate the blurring of societal placements. "That I escaped with my life."

Uther nodded to Merlin. "You have my gratitude," he said, his voice emotionless. That was all he granted Merlin. He was a servant. His actions needed to be recognized, but he didn't deserve excessive praise. He looked back at Arthur. "I've warned you of the evils of magic. I'm only sorry that you too had to suffer at its hands."

"It's funny, father, that you mention suffering. Because the witch that kidnapped me told me a story of her own sufferings," Arthur said slowly. "Oh, what was her name?" Arthur paused a moment for dramatic effect. Merlin had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Arthur knew exactly what the witch's name had been. He was just trying to get a rise out of Uther. "Nimueh."

His father's reaction was instantaneous and extremely defensive. "You cannot trust sorcerers. I've told you this time and time again. They are deceitful and evil. You would be a fool to take their words as truth. I did not raise my son to be a fool," Uther said angrily.

"Do you say that because you know her words to be false or because you know I might find them to be true?" Arthur challenged, rivaling Uther's anger with his own.

"How dare you?" Uther asked furiously. "How can you take a sorcerer's word over mine?"

"Because I found out that you unjustly persecute those who practice magic because of your own mistake. You have hardened your heart and have shown no one mercy," Arthur shouted. He was angrier than he had ever felt. He had been entirely prepared to listen to his father explain himself, but he had not expected him to lie and to cower behind the façade he had created when Ygraine died.

"I do not know what she has told you, but…" Uther started.

Arthur cut him off. "Look me in the eye and tell me that my mother is not dead because of your need for an heir. Tell me that you did not wager her life for mine," Arthur said to him. In the silence that followed, Arthur could hear his heart thumping in his ears.

"I loved your mother very much. There is not a day that goes by where I don't wish she was still here," Uther told him quietly. "I did not know the price I would have to pay. I did not know that your mother would die. Nimueh did not tell me that. If I had, I would never have done it." Arthur winced at his words, but ignored them momentarily. He couldn't think about how Uther would rather that he never had been born. Arthur had other things to address.

"Because she did not know herself!" Arthur yelled furiously. "That doesn't make her entire race guilty of a crime. You allowed your grief to turn into hatred. The lives of many sorcerers are on your shoulders and your shoulders alone. Their blood is on their hands. I don't know how you can live with the guilt that many innocent people lost their lives because of you."

"They are evil. They are responsible for your mother's death!" Uther shouted.

"No, you are," Arthur said quietly. His voice had instantly transformed from loud and angry to low and dangerous. "You may not have known, you may even regret what you have chosen, but it was still your decision that brought about her death. Pushing the blame on someone else does not change your guilt. You sought the help of magic and then did not appreciate the help that was given. You behaved like a child, not like a king. Once, long ago, I would have taken your word as gospel. I would have believed you over anyone else. But now that I know of your sins. I cannot ignore what I have learned. I will not continue your persecution of these people. I have seen the good in magic. I have seen how despite what you have done to his people, there are sorcerers that would still lay down their lives to protect you and your kin."

"You were kidnapped by a sorceress," Uther spat. "How did you see the good in magic?"

"It was not Nimueh whom I was referring to," Arthur said slowly. He hesitated before he spoke his next words. Merlin wasn't facing him. He had no way to warn him, no way to prepare him, but Arthur knew it was time. Arthur was tired of lying to everyone about who he was, more importantly, he was tired of lying to himself. He was proud of who Merlin was and he wanted his father to see that. There was going to be no more lies on his part. "It was Merlin."


	11. Goodbye

"Merlin?" Uther asked, his jaw practically fell to the floor. "What does Merlin have to do with this?"

Merlin was frozen. If he had the ability to, he would probably have rolled his eyes at Uther's obliviousness. At least he knew where Arthur got it from. As it was, Merlin couldn't do anything. He couldn't have twitched a finger, even if he wanted to. His heart was pounding in his ears and he was paralyzed with mind-numbing terror. It was different than when Arthur had found out. Merlin had had the slim ray of hope that Arthur would accept him despite his powers. There was no such hope with Uther. He was ruthless and cruel in his persecution of magic.

Merlin couldn't believe what Arthur was doing. He wished he could argue, explain that Arthur was just tired and was still under Nimueh's influence. But Merlin couldn't find his voice. He could only stand there helplessly as Arthur revealed his secret.

"Merlin is a sorcerer, and a powerful one," Arthur said. He knew his father wasn't going to take this well and he was going to protect Merlin, no matter what the cost. Arthur took a step so he was standing in front of Merlin. "He has saved my life countless times. He uses his magic for good. You will not harm him."

"Why do you care? He is just a servant," Uther spat angrily.

"He's not just a servant," Arthur said quietly. "Not to me."

"What is the meaning of this?" Uther asked, his eyes narrowing so they were no more than slits. "Do you mean to tell me that you have befriended a common peasant?"

"No," Arthur said simply. "There is nothing common about Merlin. You are blinded by hatred that you cannot see just how special he is, just how much he means to me. I cannot help who I love."

"Love?" Uther asked incredulously. "You do not love him! It is dishonorable! A man cannot love another man. This is a trick. He has enchanted you so he can get close to you and kill you. He would see Camelot fall."

"No father, he would not. I trust Merlin with my life," Arthur said strongly. His voice showed his absolute faith in Merlin. "I tried to deny it at first, but I can't anymore. I can't change how I feel about him. And I wouldn't want to."

"I will not allow him to live in my kingdom," Uther said stubbornly. "He is a sorcerer. I will not change the laws I spent twenty years enforcing. I will not have a son that consorts with a sorcerer."

"Well then father, you'll get your wish," Arthur said slowly. He could hear the quiver in his voice that betrayed him. The next words were impossibly difficult to get out. Uther was his father, but Arthur would not risk Merlin's life like that. The first traitorous tear fell down his cheek. Arthur didn't know how to describe the emotions coursing through him. It was like he was voluntarily ripping off a piece of his body to feed to the wolves.

Merlin's eyes widened as he realized the sacrifice Arthur was prepared to make. He couldn't let him do this. Arthur would never forgive himself. "Arthur, you can't!" Merlin told him seriously. "You'll never forgive yourself if you walk away from the life you have here. I'll turn myself it. It's not worth it."

"No Merlin," Arthur said quietly. "I will forgive myself eventually. But I will never, ever forgive myself if I stand aside and allow him to kill you. I would never get over that and I've seen what grief can do to someone with power. This is the only way." Arthur turned back to his father. "You said once that if you had known of the repercussions of your actions, you would never have made the choice to have a son. I'm granting you your wish. From this day forth, you do not have a son."

"Arthur!" Uther shouted outraged. He couldn't believe Arthur was sacrificing everything for a sorcerer. This only hardened his resolve that Arthur was enchanted.

"Good day my lord," Arthur said, bowing to Uther. He motioned for Merlin to exit before him. It was a show of how shocked Uther was that Merlin and Arthur managed to leave before he recovered from the shock Arthur had put him in. Merlin magically closed the doors and locked them from the outside. They ran past Henry's shocked face. They didn't know how long it would take him to recover and let Uther out, but they needed to take advantage of his distraction.

Merlin felt a pang of sadness as they exited the castle. He wouldn't have a chance to say goodbye to Gaius. He couldn't believe they were actually doing this. They were really leaving.

Merlin used his magic to saddle two horses. They needed to make a hasty escape. They could already hear the warning bells. Arthur and Merlin knew that within minutes the courtyard would be swarming with knights. Arthur knew what their orders would be. Kill Merlin, bring back Arthur unharmed. They needed to leave before it got to the point of a fight. While Arthur had no doubt that Merlin could protect himself, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Merlin would sacrifice himself in an instant if it meant Arthur would be safe.

Luck was in their favor. As Merlin packed the last bag onto the horses, the first knight appeared in the courtyard. Ironically, it was Henry. He looked conflicted when he saw them. Not that there was anything he could do. Arthur and Merlin had already mounted their horses. They would easily outrun the knights.

Arthur glanced at Merlin to make sure that he was ready and was surprised to see that Merlin was staring, mouth agape at something behind them. Arthur turned and was sure a similar expression found its way to his face.

Henry was not chasing them, not at all. Technically the knights were not under Arthur's jurisdiction, but Arthur had been training with them since he was just a boy. He had been in charge of training for years. Some of the knights had come to have higher regards for Arthur than for his father. But still, he had not been expecting this.

When Arthur turned around, he saw Henry down on one knee in a sign of fealty, looking right at Arthur. It was flattering. Arthur had thought nothing could break their loyalty to the king, but he knew Henry must have heard their argument. They had been shouting and the wooden doors did nothing to alleviate sound. Perhaps this was Henry's way of showing Arthur that he was on his side. It gave Arthur hope for the future. Arthur nodded at Henry in gratitude. He looked at Merlin, who was looking right back at him.

"Ready?" Merlin asked him uncertainly.

"I'm ready," Arthur said, shooting him an anxious smile.

They took off at a gallop and didn't slow down until Camelot was nothing more than a dot on the horizon.

"Arthur, are you sure about this?" Merlin asked him when they stopped for supper.

"I am. I have to keep you safe. Besides, we won't be gone forever. I don't expect my people to stay silent once they learn of the truth behind my mother's death," Arthur told him quietly. "I don't know what will become of my father, but when his time as king is up, I will be there to take his place."

"Aren't you scared they might kill him in the process?" Merlin asked him worriedly.

"Honestly, no," Arthur told him. "I know my people. They would never kill my father. If they discover the truth, they will show their dissent, but then they will wait for me to take my rightful place, as their king."

Merlin smiled at him. "And I will be in my place, by your side, helping you as I always am," Merlin promised him.

"I know you will," Arthur told him with a smile. "I know you will."


	12. Epilogue

Ten years passed. Much had changed during that time. Arthur had not stepped foot in Camelot, not even once. He had no wish to return. His father had done nothing to cease his war on magic. Arthur was only relieved that his father hadn't gotten worse when his only son ran away with a sorcerer. Then again, how could he really get worse than killing everyone suspected of practicing magic?

Merlin had only returned once, under the cover of darkness. He had put it off as long as possible, for Arthur's sake, but he simply couldn't do it anymore. Nearly a year had passed since their departure. Merlin felt guilty enough for not having had any contact with Gaius in that time. Gaius had treated him as a son, and how did Merlin repay him? By not even having the courtesy to say goodbye.

Arthur could see how much the guilt was eating away at Merlin, so finally he relented. Arthur was terrified that night. He knew that Merlin could protect himself, but he was still frightened. Merlin was powerful, but without the magic book, he hadn't been able to learn any spells in the time that they were gone. While Merlin had practiced using his natural magic, he would be able to do so much more once he retrieved the magic book. He had practiced the magic he already knew until he could perform it flawlessly. He also had managed to create some of his own spells with the words of the old religion, but his education was lacking.

While Arthur knew retrieving the magic book wasn't Merlin's sole purpose, he kept reminding himself that that was a good enough reason to allow him to go back into a heavily guarded palace that had been on the lookout for both of them for almost a year.

Merlin was the exact opposite of Arthur. He wasn't nervous, he was excited. He couldn't wait to see Gaius again. Even if he could only get thirty seconds with the physician, that would be enough. He just needed to know that Gaius was okay.

Arthur kissed Merlin passionately before he left. It was a kiss that left his heart pounding in his brain and left him gasping for breath. Merlin tried to ignore how desperate the kiss had been. As if Arthur wasn't sure if there was going to be another.

Merlin forced himself to walk away. He didn't let himself look back. He knew if he looked back, he would never keep moving forward. And he needed to stop being selfish. He needed to put Gaius first tonight.

When Merlin reached the gates, he hesitated before he pushed them open. Merlin was particularly adept at distracting guards. Even in the short time he had spent in Camelot he had had multiple opportunities to practice that particular form of magic. He was happy to see that he hadn't lost his touch. A couple of torches and a barrel of oil later and Merlin's way to Gaius's chambers was clear. Merlin almost felt guilty as he passed the two unconscious knights, but there hadn't been enough torches to lead them far enough away.

Merlin tiptoed into Gaius's chambers. He knew there was no one about, but he did it as a precaution. He was so close and being noticed because of such a reckless mistake was the last thing he needed.

When Merlin stepped in, he couldn't help but look around. Gaius's workshop was exactly as he remembered it. There were only the barest of changes. Gaius had inherited a few new nick-knacks since Merlin had left. They were scattered across his messy workshop table. Something on the table caught his eye. There was a book he had never seen before. A single page was sticking out of it as if Gaius had needed to close it hastily and had forgotten to revisit it.

Merlin walked over to the book curiously. It was a plain black book. There was no title on it, no writing on the cover at all. Merlin hesitated before he decided to open it. There wasn't anything special about it, but Merlin's instinct told him to read whatever was inside. When Merlin opened to the first page, he was shocked to see it was blank. So this was some sort of journal? What would Gaius be doing with a journal?

Merlin got his answer when he opened to the page that was bent and sticking out.

Merlin,it read.

Perhaps it is wishful thinking, but I keep hoping that one day you might return. I know that it cannot be, but I have to believe that you wouldn't leave an old man on his own. It has been three weeks since you left. When you first came to my chambers to be my apprentice, I was scared. You had a type of magic that I had never heard of before, a magic you were all too willing to use right under the king's nose. But I don't regret a moment of your stay here. I never had children, but I feel as if you have given me a second chance at parentage. No matter what happens, I am proud of you.

Gaius had written more, but Merlin couldn't bring himself to read it just yet. His guilt went into overdrive. Gaius had been waiting for him to return. He had been writing to him. For months and months he had been waiting. Merlin couldn't believe he had left Gaius on his own this long.

Merlin walked over to Gaius's bed where Gaius was snoring loudly, just as he always had. On the little end table by his bed was a lantern and a book. Gaius had placed his reading glasses on top of the book.

When Merlin picked up the book to see what Gaius had been reading, he saw a small piece of parchment that had been hidden under the book. When Merlin saw the parchment, he felt as if he had swallowed his heart. There was a small picture of him and Arthur on the parchment, something Gaius had clearly created with magic. Merlin knew exactly when Gaius had acquired that, but he didn't know how Gaius managed it. It didn't require much magic to conjure up an image of a loved one, but Merlin had never heard of a spell that could copy a memory onto parchment.

The picture was of Arthur standing next to Merlin as he saddled his horse. They both were sporting small smiles. Merlin knew that Arthur had just insulted him, commented on how long it took Merlin to saddle a horse. Merlin had in turn called Arthur a dollophead. Despite the insults they had undoubtedly been throwing at each other, they looked happy. Merlin could see why this was the picture Gaius had chosen.

Merlin took a deep breath and put the book back before he placed his arm on Gaius's shoulder. "Gaius," Merlin whispered. "Gaius!" Merlin remembered the last time he had whispered to Gaius to wake him up and hoped he caused less of a fright this time.

Gaius awoke with a start, looking around as if he expected a terrible intruder. When he realized who was standing at his bedside, his jaw nearly dropped. "Merlin?" He asked uncertainly. It was definitely Merlin, but he had changed much in the year he was gone. He was still thin, but there was a muscly look behind his thin frame now. And his hair had grown slightly. It fell over his forehead, curling in front of his eyes. "Merlin!" Gaius said, sitting up in bed. He quickly got out and went to Merlin's side. He put his arm on Merlin's shoulder before pulling him in to his embrace.

"You shouldn't have come," Gaius scolded. "It's too dangerous."

"I had to see you," Merlin told him, shaking his head. He did not regret his decision to come here.

"I'm glad to see you m'boy, but you have to leave. It is not safe here. I don't know how you managed to get in. The king has guards stationed at my door around the clock in case you decide to return," Gaius warned him.

"I distracted them," Merlin said with a shrug.

"But you must leave," Gaius said.

"I just need to grab the magic book," Merlin told him.

"No!" Gaius warned, the fear picking up in his voice. "You must leave now. You don't understand and I haven't the time to explain." Gaius hesitated. "Meet me in three days' time at that clearing where we discovered the root of hungelton when we were collecting herbs. I'll bring you your book and explain everything, but now you must go."

Merlin nodded. "I'll see you soon," he promised. He knew that Gaius was terrified about something, but he didn't know what. He would have to be patient. Merlin crept out of Gaius's chambers and was grateful for the darkness of the corridor. No fewer than a dozen knights were patrolling the corridor. Merlin wondered how he missed it before. His heart pounded and he feared the knights might hear it.

Merlin forced himself to calm down. He was sure this must be what Gaius was talking about. The king knew how strong the bond between Gaius and him had been. He had been waiting for this.

Merlin reminded himself that he knew how to distract the guards. Starting with a window that was far enough away from him, Merlin had it open and then slam closed. The guards were instantly alert. Merlin did the same for the window next to it and then the next one and then the next one. Finally Merlin had the door at the end of the corridor open and closed. All but one of the knights went through the door, one by one. The last knight hesitated. Merlin held his breath, waiting for him to follow the others. To Merlin's surprise, the knight closed the door and turned around. A ray of moonlight illuminated his face and Merlin had to suppress his gasp. It was Henry.

Merlin briefly considered making his presence known. Henry had shown Arthur a sign of fealty before they had left. But that had been almost a year ago. His loyalties could have changed.

Henry took a couple of steps away from the door. "You might as well take this opportunity to leave Merlin," Henry said quietly. "I'm not going to stop you."

Merlin's jaw nearly dropped. "How did you know it was me?" Merlin asked confused.

"Why do you think we are stationed here? After all this time, the king is still searching for you. We knew you were here after the incident with the guards earlier, but we have instructions not to raise the warning bell if we know you're here," Henry explained. "Uther fears you may run. Which you should do. Now!"

Merlin hesitated. "Thank you," he whispered before he ran away. He kept running, going from shadow to shadow. His mind was a whirl of confusion and he was barely aware of running through the gates and back into the protection of the forest.

When he got back to the little home he and Arthur had built, Arthur was standing outside pacing. Their house wasn't large. It had three rooms: a bedroom, a makeshift kitchen, and a study. Despite the snugness of the house, it was perfect for them. They had built it together, with just a little help from magic.

When Arthur saw Merlin, he immediately ran over to him and captured him in a tight embrace. "What happened?" Arthur asked a he took in how sweaty and out-of-breath Merlin was.

Merlin took a few moments to re-catch his breath before he told Arthur everything.

Merlin wasn't surprised when, three days later, Arthur insisted on joining him when he met with Gaius.

Merlin was surprised when he realized that Gaius wasn't alone. He was accompanied by Henry and the Lady Morgana.

When Morgana saw Merlin, her eyes widened. Merlin couldn't help but stare. Morgana was a mess. Her hair was one giant knot and her eyes were red and splotchy as if she had recently been crying. Then there was the way she was holding herself. She looked as if she was ready to collapse. Merlin didn't know what had happened to her, but he knew it wasn't good.

Merlin looked to Gaius. "What's going on?" He asked confused.

"I don't have the magic book," Gaius said apologetically. "It took everything to get Morgana out. I did tell you that I was going to explain to you why it is dangerous for you to have returned," Gaius told him.

"If I may cut in before you begin to explain," Arthur said quietly. "What happened to Morgana?"

"Well, it's all related," Gaius explained. He took a moment to study Merlin and Arthur. They both looked happier than Gaius ever remembered them being in Camelot. Freedom suited them. "About two months ago, Morgana began to develop strange powers. She didn't know what was happening to her, so she turned to the only person that she trusted. Uther. She did not know of the circumstances of why you left. Uther told her that you were visiting Nimith. So when she started seeing these strange things she thought they were nightmares and told him."

"Strange things?" Merlin asked, his interest peaking. "You're a seer, aren't you?"

Gaius nodded, looking at Merlin perplexed. "How did you know that?" Gaius asked curiously.

"I do actually pay attention when you speak Gaius," Merlin teased. "When Sophia nearly killed Arthur, you told me that Morgana might have seer powers. And we may have stumbled upon a Druid camp. We don't stay with them, but we visit from time to time. They have taught me a lot about the different kinds of magic."

"You found a druid camp?" Gaius asked hopefully. Druid camps were rare. Generally, you didn't just happen upon them. But generally you also didn't run away with the prince of Camelot, so Gaius really shouldn't be surprised.

Merlin nodded. "And they would accept the lady Morgana with open arms," Merlin told him with a smile. He had been able to make the connection about what would have happened once Uther realized that Morgana was seeing the future.

Arthur, however, did not make that connection. "I'm confused," he said frustratedly. "Why does Morgana need to take refuge in the druid camp?"

Merlin couldn't help but roll his eyes. "What do you think your father did to her once he realized she was a seer?" Merlin asked him. He had that tone that said, 'did you really not figure it out?' "But I want to know what convinced him you were seeing the future and not just having strange dreams."

"Um… I might have a bit of magic as well," Morgana admitted.

To everyone's surprise, Merlin started laughing. "How many vases did you break?" He asked amused. He could just picture Morgana getting angry in the middle of a dinner with Uther and breaking the vase in the center.

"What? How did you know?" Morgana asked confused.

"Can you imagine how much damage I used to cause when I had temper tantrums as a child?" Merlin asked her. "My mother still uses that against me to this day. When you first realize you have magic, you can't control it perfectly. Strong emotions make your magic go haywire. Couple that with what you saw of the future and I imagine you broke many a vases when you woke up or were feeling overly emotion."

"And windows. And curtains. And tables," Gaius muttered. "Pretty much anything that could be broken."

Merlin chuckled again before he looked serious. "What did you see?" Merlin asked. He suddenly realized that her visions might be the reason Uther's guard was so diligent.

"I'm sorry," Morgana whispered. "I should never have told Uther. But I suppose he was ashamed by the truth. He told everyone that Arthur was improving foreign relations between our kingdom and Nimith. Uther said he hoped that it would end in a stronger alliance and a marriage. If I had known the truth, I never would have told him, but I thought it was just a strange dream. I thought there was something wrong with me because I kept seeing it."

"What did you see?" Merlin repeated.

"I saw you returning to Gaius in the middle of the night. I saw you and Arthur returning, many years from now, both of you taking positions as kings of Camelot," Morgana whispered. She looked away.

"What else?" Merlin asked her. He recognized the reluctant look in her face. She was hiding something she didn't think they would like. Arthur and Gaius looked surprised. Morgana hadn't told Gaius about any other visions and Arthur was just oblivious.

"Just bits and pieces," Morgana muttered.

"Morgana," Merlin warned.

"I saw a child Merlin," Morgana told him. "But it is not possible."

"A child?" Merlin asked confused.

"The child called both of you 'father'," Morgana told them. "But it can't happen. It's not possible."

"Why were you reluctant to tell us this?" Arthur asked surprised.

"Because she feared one of us is to commit adultery to create a child," Merlin told him with an amused look on his face. "How else could we have a child? It's not as if either of us could bear a child." They made eye contact and both of them burst out laughing.

"I'm glad you two think this is such a laughing matter," Morgana scolded them. "I know what I saw."

"Yes, you do. You saw a child that probably has blonde hair and blue eyes. By that logic, it's Arthur you suspect of infidelity. Don't tell us the gender, we want to be surprised," Merlin warned her.

"We never agreed on that," Arthur said, looking at Merlin.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "We didn't think we had to. I want to be surprised and that's that," Merlin said stubbornly.

Morgana and Gaius stared at him and Arthur. "Feel free to explain at any time," Morgana snapped. She hated feeling left out.

"There is a little girl the druid camp just took in. She was fourteen years old. She had been sold into a brothel in Odin's kingdom. She only escaped recently when she found out…" Merlin cut himself off. He hated thinking about it. It went against all the laws of nature, what those men did to that little girl.

Morgana's face darkened. She was able to connect the dots. "She's pregnant?" She asked horrified.

Merlin nodded. "She has no wish to keep the child. She wants to have it, then return home," Merlin told her. "The druids were willing to adopt the child. They don't believe in rejecting the innocent, but Arthur and I decided that we would raise the child. Having a child is something denied to us, but that doesn't mean we can't be parents."

If possible, Gaius's jaw dropped further. Merlin and Arthur raising a child together. If you had told him that would happen when Merlin first came to Camelot, Gaius would have called you insane.

"Wow," Morgana said quietly. "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. What did you do to my brother?"

"Well, you see," Merlin started to joke, but then he cut himself off and stared at Morgana. He looked between Morgana and Arthur. It took him several moments to speak. "Did you say brother?"

Gaius groaned. "We had been planning to tell you in a less… shocking way," Gaius said, glaring at Morgana.

"Oops," she said apologetically. She turned to Arthur. "I wasn't thinking. I've had months to get used to it and accept it. When Uther was throwing me in the dungeons, he told me that he might be my father, but that doesn't make me his daughter and that he didn't want anything to do with someone who practices magic. That's why he didn't have me killed, just locked up."

"D-d-daughter?" Arthur asked, shocked. He wasn't upset, not exactly. He had lost so much faith in his father that this barely surprised him. He just hadn't been prepared for this bomb shell. He was tired of finding out that everything in his life was a lie.

Morgana nodded at him. "It wasn't until Gaius came to visit me for the first time that he told me what Uther had confided in him and I understood that Uther really was my father," Morgana explained.

Arthur just shook his head. Too much. Far, far too much. Finding out that Morgana was a seer and had magic. That she had escaped from Camelot just as they had. And now learning that she was his sister. He couldn't handle it.

Merlin recovered first. "Right. Well, this has been informative," Merlin said. "Morgana, we should leave soon to get you to the druid camp. They rise early and we must get there before Atwa leaves to perform his duties. Gaius…" Merlin hesitated. He had barely gotten to speak with the physician. He didn't want to say goodbye yet.

"Same time, same place, next week?" Gaius asked hopefully.

Merlin nodded with a smile. He embraced Gaius briefly. "Take care," he said softly.

"You too," Gaius told him. With that Gaius turned and walked back with Henry.

"Henry," Arthur called. Henry turned back to look at Arthur. "Thank you."

Henry nodded before he turned back and followed Gaius. As they disappeared, Merlin turned to Arthur. He knew Arthur was just barely holding it together. His life just kept changing. It was full of twists and turns. But Arthur needed to wait a few more hours before he could rest and think about everything.

Merlin walked up to Arthur and leant his forehead against Arthur's. "I know this is a lot for you," Merlin whispered. "But just hold in there. We'll be home in a couple of hours. We'll be able to visit the druid camp in a few days so you can get more of your answers, but for now, I need you to put it aside. I'm sorry."

Arthur closed his eyes and wrapped one of his hands in Merlin's hair. He took a deep breath. Merlin kissed his forehead gently. "I'm ready," Arthur promised.

Arthur couldn't believe how much changed in the next nine years. They adopted their daughter, a little girl with curly blonde hair and the bluest blue eyes, named Lori. She was so friendly. She could walk up to someone who was crying and in minutes, they would be laughing.

Merlin and Arthur couldn't be prouder of their daughter. Arthur and Morgana also resolved their issues. It took a while. Morgana had had a couple of months to get used to the idea of Arthur as her brother. Arthur wasn't granted that luxury. Merlin was just glad that they had gotten used to it and now had some, as Arthur called it, "healthy sibling rivalry." That generally included Morgana making Arthur vanish and appear in some random part of the forest and Arthur finding his way home just to prove he could. Merlin didn't question it. He wasn't about to pretend the siblings were normal.

Merlin and Arthur had gotten married four weeks before Lori was born. The ceremony was performed by Atwa, the druid leader.

Merlin had met with Gaius at least once a month in the nine years that passed. It was just two days ago when Gaius did not show up. Merlin was extremely worried, so worried that even Arthur was having a difficult time distracting him. Not that he didn't succeed, it just took a long time. When darkness fell on the third night, there was a knock at the door to their home.

Merlin immediately jumped out of bed, taking the blanket and Arthur with him. He fell to the ground and immediately pushed himself to his feet. When he opened the door, he saw Gaius standing there with a lantern. Gaius looked tired, as if he had been travelling a long time without stopping for rest. But there was something else behind his fatigue. Something was wrong.

Arthur appeared behind Merlin. "Gaius? What's wrong?" Arthur asked.

"Uther is dead," Gaius whispered. His voice sounded hollow. Merlin felt a pang of sympathy. Gaius may not have agreed with much of what Uther did, but the king had been his friend. "Cenred and a witch, Morgause have created an immortal army. We cannot hold up much longer. Camelot needs you. Both of you." Merlin winced at the mention of Morgause. He had told neither Gaius nor Arthur about her. Morgana had begged him. Merlin hoped he wouldn't come to regret that decision.

Arthur fumbled back to the room he and Merlin shared and hastily started getting dressed. "Gaius, I need you to stay with Lori," Merlin asked him pleadingly. "We can't leave her alone."

"Of course," Gaius agreed.

Merlin quickly got dressed then he and Arthur mounted their horses. Gaius waved them goodbye from the doorway.

Merlin plucked a leaf off of the tree closest to him. He whispered something into it and his eyes flashed gold. "Morgana will meet us there," Merlin told Arthur as they took off.

When they arrived at the gate to Camelot, they were shocked by what they saw. It hadn't reached the citadel, but the houses in the village were almost completely destroyed. Fires were still burning and they could see the exact line where the armies were fighting. The knights' numbers were dwindling and Merlin knew why. They didn't stand a chance against an immortal army.

"This way," Merlin said, motioning for Arthur to follow him. They snuck around to the side of the castle where the servant's entrance was located. Arthur and Merlin snuck into the castle and made their way to the armory.

Merlin couldn't help but pause when he found it. Possibly in the best hiding spot. A diamond among clear, shiny rocks. Its powers were indistinguishable. For anyone that didn't know what it was, it would look like an ordinary sword. But Merlin recognized it for what it was.

He picked up the sword and handed it to Arthur. "Ten years ago, it was forged for you. Now it's finally time that you wield it," Merlin told him. Merlin felt as if this moment should be cherished, the moment when the master is reunited with his sword. But they did not have time for that. "Ready?"

"Ready," Arthur said. Holding Excalibur in one hand, he ran. Merlin was at his side as they ran through the castle, through the already open door.

Arthur let out a battle cry and many of the knights parted willingly. It didn't matter that Arthur had been gone for ten years. They let him through. Merlin stayed by his side, his eyes flashing gold as he aided Arthur and the knights. He didn't have the power to kill what was dead, but he could delay them. Push them backwards to give Arthur the chance to kill them.

The immortal army was reckless. They didn't know how to protect themselves, because they had never needed to. Arthur fully took advantage of that, taking out soldier after soldier.

Morgana arrived in a tornado. When the wind cleared, it was to find her at the center of it. She joined Merlin and Arthur. "Hello brother," she said to Arthur with a curt nod. She turned to Merlin and bit her lip. He wasn't going to like what she was about to say. "Merlin, they used the cup of life. Atwa warned me about it before I left. Morgause took it from him weeks ago saying she had a safe place to keep it, and he hadn't thought anything of it. He didn't know who she was, just that she was a priestess of the old religion, someone who should be trusted." Morgana said those words with a bitterness rarely found in her. "We have to find the cup and empty it of the blood used to make them immortal."

Merlin closed his eyes. He knew what this meant. There was no way Arthur would budge from his position at the front of the knights. "I'm assuming you brought a sword," he said to her softly.

Morgana looked at him compassionately as she handed him a sword. "I would not ask this of you if it were not necessary," she said apologetically.

"What's going on?" Arthur asked uncertainly as he watched a tear fall from Merlin's eye.

"I need to take your sword. I know how to end this. Just promise me you'll be careful. Promise you'll keep yourself safe," Merlin said to him, holding out the regular sword to Arthur. It was the hardest decision to make, to intentionally put a loved one in danger for the good of thousands of men. It wasn't something Merlin took lightly. Merlin wished there was a way he could keep Arthur safe and protect Camelot, but he knew there was not. Arthur would want him to choose Camelot.

Arthur handed Merlin Excalibur without hesitation. "You be careful too," he warned.

Merlin kissed Arthur fiercely, but quickly before he turned to follow Morgana. Arthur grabbed his hand and squeezed it before he turned back to the army. Arthur continued fighting, no longer able to kill, only able to distract.

Merlin's hand squeezed around the ring Arthur had left in his hand. He didn't need to look to know what it was. It was Arthur's precaution. Just in case the unimaginable happened, Arthur had given Merlin the Pendragon seal.

Merlin and Morgana traveled through the courtyard to get to the castle. Merlin ran into several knights, but was easily able to kill them. When they got to the castle, Merlin turned to Morgana. "Where is she?" He asked her.

It didn't escape his notice that Morgana had known exactly where to come to find Merlin and Arthur. She had seen this. "She's in the throne room. I saw at least six immortal knights. I don't know if there are more," Morgana told him.

Merlin nodded to her. "Are you okay?" He asked her quietly.

She shook her head. "I thought she was gone. I thought this was over," she said quietly.

"Nothing is going to change. We'll stop her for real this time. She will never torment you again," Merlin promised her.

Morgana shook her head. "I fear her damage may already be done. She never forgave me for choosing Arthur over her. For refusing to help her kill Uther. You granted me a favor and never told anyone that she is my half-sister, but perhaps that was a mistake. They may not be expecting her," Morgana said worriedly.

"Morgana, she and an immortal army are trying to take over Camelot. I think Arthur is ready for her," Merlin told her. He was just as anxious as Morgana. His fear for Arthur was pounding through him. A constant reminder that his husband was in danger until the cup was drained.

"I'm sorry," Morgana said. "I keep forgetting I am not the only one that is afraid right now. I know you're worried about Arthur. But I know my brother. He will be fine."

Merlin couldn't help the tears that fell from his eyes. There were no words that could reassure him. No words that could make his fear go away. "Let's go," Merlin said, forcing all thoughts of Arthur from his head. Arthur was still there, but now Merlin could concentrate.

Merlin and Morgana rushed to the throne room. There were four knights guarding the door. Between their magic and Excalibur, they took out the men in a matter of minutes.

They took a deep breath before they barged into the throne room. Merlin took a moment to find out how many threats there were. Morgause was standing in front of the cup of life, which was sitting on a pedestal.

There were eight knights, spread sporadically throughout the throne room. "You distract them," Merlin ordered Morgana, bringing her back to reality. She had been distracted when she saw Morgause.

Morgana nodded. This battle was longer. Merlin and Morgana had to use their magic to combat both the knights and Morgause. It took over an hour to eliminate the knights, but it felt like much, much longer. When it was just them and Morgause, Merlin looked at Morgana. "You can do this," he told her.

This moment was imperative. He needed her to distract Morgause so that he could hit the cup. The magic of the sword would mean that when the cup spilled the knights would die. They became immortal, but at a terrible price.

He didn't know if Morgana was capable of this. Her powers weren't as great as Merlin's and she had used them too much that night.

"No, I can't," Morgana said feebly.

"Yes you can," Merlin told her. "Now!"

He sprinted towards the cup. He knew Morgana's magic failed her when he was suddenly blasted into the wall. Merlin groaned and rolled over.

"Awendap eft wansaeliga neat," Merlin yelled. Morgause flew backwards, crashing into the wall with a loud thud.

Merlin pushed himself to his feet. Before Morgause had the chance to catch her breath, Merlin yelled, "Oferswing!"

Morgause was thrown to the opposite side of the room. She collapsed to the floor, unconscious. Merlin picked up Excalibur and walked towards the cup. With a scream of frustration, he knocked the cup over. The blood flew against the wall and dripped down. It was one of those things that Merlin didn't want to see, but he couldn't help but stare at it. He knew that as that blood dripped down the walls, the enemy would suddenly be collapsing. Every drop of blood signified Camelot's success. The enemy had become immortal, but at a terrible cost. And that cost was their lives. Rather ironic when you think about it, Merlin mused.

He stared until a movement pulled him from his thoughts. He turned to see Morgause stirring. She groaned, but didn't get up yet. He knew it wouldn't be long. He saw Morgana. She was still standing frozen in the same position she had been in when she couldn't use her magic before.

Morgana looked at Merlin with a pleading look. She was asking him to end this, asking him to kill Morgause. Merlin nodded at her and turned to Morgause. He didn't look at her with hatred, but with pity. She had allowed her powers to go to her head, had allowed her hatred to consume her. "Folge min bebod," he whispered.

It was the most humane way to kill her. She wouldn't feel any pain. Her heart would simply stop. Merlin watched the effect on her body. It was instantaneous. One moment she was breathing, the next, she wasn't.

Merlin never liked ending a life and this was no exception. It wasn't something to be cheered, but something to mourn. He wasn't happy Morgause was gone, but he knew it had been necessary.

Merlin turned to Morgana. "Are you okay?" He asked her worriedly. She was staring at Morgause wide-eyed.

She nodded hesitantly. "Go check on Arthur. I know you want to," she told him.

"I'm not leaving you here alone," Merlin warned her. He knew better than that. "Come with me." Merlin walked over to her, so he was standing by her side. "Come on," he said quietly.

Morgana nodded. Merlin knew what she was going through. She was shocked. She had seen so much bloodshed today, and she had watched her sister die. It was enough to overwhelm anyone. They walked quickly back out to the courtyard. When they got there, they were met with bodies everywhere. The immortal army had fallen, mixing with the slain knights of Camelot.

As Merlin passed the knights that survived the battle, he was looking for the one man he desperately wanted to see.

"Where's Arthur?" He asked knight after knight. "Where is he?"

It wasn't until the faces turned from unknowing to sorrowful when he asked his question that Merlin gave up hope.

"Where is he?" Merlin asked dejectedly.

One knight finally gave him an answer. "I haven't seen him since he was surrounded about twenty minutes ago," a knight Merlin didn't recognize told him. "I'm sorry, but I don't think… I don't think he could have made it out of that. He was outnumbered. We all were."

Merlin took a deep breath. "Send the wounded to the main hall. We will set up hospital there," he ordered the knight. "The men that died fighting for Camelot must be laid out in the courtyard. They will receive proper burials. Have some men dig a ditch just outside the gates. Put the bodies of the immortal army there and burn them. They did not die with honor. They died in disgrace," Merlin told him.

The knight nodded and ran off to deliver his orders. Despite the fact that Merlin wasn't of royal standing, people listened to him. They all knew what he meant to Arthur. They had seen it. They obeyed him as if he were king.

Merlin turned to Morgana. "I need you to go to Gaius's chambers. Collect as many bandages and towels as you can," he told her. He was barely holding himself together. But he knew he needed to. The people of Camelot needed someone. They had no king, no prince. Arthur's ring weighed down on his finger, a constant reminder of the burden he must now carry. Camelot only had him now. "If I see any maidservants, I will send them your way."

Merlin helped a knight who was missing his left leg from the knee down. The knight leaned all his body weight on Merlin and hopped to the main hall. Merlin felt for the knight. Every step seemed to take a great deal of exertion.

As the wounded were carried into the main hall, Merlin went from patient to patient. If their injuries weren't life threatening, Merlin bandaged them using traditional methods, but if their wounds were serious, Merlin used his magic. He had never seen this level of war before. Looking at the casualties, he couldn't figure out how anyone could find glory in war.

It had been hours since Merlin had so much as sat down. He hadn't taken a break from those wounded except for a short reunion with Gwen. He couldn't bear to. With every man that entered the main hall that wasn't Arthur, Merlin felt himself becoming number.

A day passed before all the bodies were sorted and the wounded were cared for. There had been no sign of Arthur. He was believed to be amongst the hundreds of Camelot men that had died. There were too many bodies to search thoroughly and most of them were too maimed for it to be of any use. The knights simply gave up and began to mourn their fallen prince and king. Merlin was surprised by how they welcomed him. He had expected opposition. He had been a mere servant when he had left, but now they regarded him as a king.

Later that night, when Merlin had been awake for nearly forty hours, Morgana forced him to leave. "Get some rest," she told him. "Let yourself mourn."

Merlin didn't think that she realized that those two couldn't occur at the same time. Reluctantly, he listened to her and forced himself to leave the wounded. When Merlin stepped outside of the castle, it had started to rain. He got to the bottom of the steps before it was too much. The grief he had been pushing off fell over him in waves.

He sat down in front of the stone pillar that was at the end of the stairs. The rain poured over him, but he didn't care. All that mattered were the lonely days flashing in front of him. He and Arthur had seen each other every single day for the past ten years. They had never spent a night apart. Now Merlin was looking at a whole future without that. A whole future where he'll wake up to having too much space in his bed. A whole future where he'll never be able to kiss Arthur good morning or hold him as he drifted off to sleep.

It is different, oh so different from the last time Merlin thought Arthur was dead. It was worse. One thousand times worse. The sobs ripped through Merlin's chest. He felt as if they were trying to tear his chest apart. He gasped for breathe that refused to come.

He knew he wasn't the only one mourning a loved one, but it didn't seem fair. He and Arthur had only gotten ten years together. It seemed like such a short time. And Lori. Lori was too young to suffer the loss of a parent. She was only eight years old. No child deserved that.

Merlin choked on another sob as he tried to calm himself down. He wished he could hear Arthur's voice one more time.

As if on cue, Merlin heard someone calling his name. "Merlin. Merlin," the voice called. It was faint as if the wind itself were calling his name. "Merlin, Merlin." Merlin closed his eyes, allowing himself to pretend for one more moment that Arthur was still alive. He didn't care about the consequences. "Merlin!" The voice was getting louder. Merlin's eyes flew open. "Merlin!"

Merlin sat up. He knew that voice. He didn't want to, but he couldn't help it as hope rose up in him. Hope could be a dangerous thing. Merlin didn't know how he could bring himself to wake up the next day if this hope proved to be false. But he couldn't help but hope.

Merlin wiped away his tears and tried to see through the rain. "Arthur?" He called, praying with all his might that Arthur might answer. "Arthur?"

A bloody figure walked into view. Arthur looked like he was either covered in blood or bruises from head to foot. But it was unmistakably him. Merlin jumped to his feet so quickly, he got dizzy. His lack of sleep was starting to make itself known, but he needed to put it aside. He chanted under his breath and could see the wounds on Arthur's face closing up. There was a stab wound in Arthur's abdomen that Merlin closed on the surface. Later, he would assess Arthur's wounds and heal everything that needed to be healed, but for now, he had done enough. For now, he needed to be with his husband. He waited a moment before he ran towards Arthur. When he was close, he threw his arms around Arthur. Part of him feared that he was imagining this, but when he made contact with solid flesh, he knew it was real.

"You're alive," Merlin cried, entwining his hand in Arthur's long hair. He didn't care how dirty and bloody Arthur was. All that mattered was that he was still alive.

"I'm right here," Arthur promised him in between kisses. "I'm not going anywhere."

**Author's Note:**

> The End! Let me know what you thought of this story. Did you love it? Hate it? Any suggestions for future stories?


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